The Why and How-to of Overcoming Fear...
How to overcome fear?
- Well, it all starts with recognising your fears in the first place. (And this is not as easy as it sounds, as you probably know.)
- Then overcoming your fear and anxiety requires you understand where your fears come from (clue: you learned most of them, growing up).
- Then it helps if you play with this fear, if you imagine the worst happening and then ask yourself, 'then what?' and repeat.
But, ultimately, it's about facing
fears. (Bet you weren't expecting me to say that, eh!)
And this is all explained below via the 3 YouTube videos (by myself, Dr Tucket and Ross Jeffries, respectively), and some very personal reflections on my own fears right now.
Yes, we're dealing with facing your fears, people, right here and right now!...
Overcoming Fear - Secrets to Overcoming Fear
What I say...
I've said it elsewhere (on this fear of success page, actually) but it's still true, if there's one topic I've been wanting to write about (apart from happiness) it's fear, and in particular: overcoming fear.
And that's because I'm as haunted as the next man (or woman) by fear.
Thankfully, I'm also determined to learn how to overcome fear, too. I now believe that one's success in life relies heavily on dealing with fear.
And as I've said it's about understanding that conquering fear is a 3-step process:
- Recognise you have the fear
- Ask yourself where the fear comes from, what the fear really means
(This is a 'how to deal with fear' strategy discussed by DR Tucket in the in the YouTube video on overcoming fears, below.)
- FACE the fear!
(Action, as well as positive 'self-talk' needed here.)
Where Fear Comes From
Where does fear come from in the first place? Well, I'll let the wise words of another answer this great question (via an inspirational quote):
"A child does not
have to be taught how to be happy
or the ways of love. It is fear, hatred,
and prejudice that
have to be taught. And from the condition of the world
we
can see that unfortunately there are some very good teachers."
-- Javan
Let me share where one of my fears come from, then...
| Statement: | My
name is Steve M Nash and I'd like to have freedom from fear.
I understand that fear is useful, sometimes, but most of my fears hold me back and were formed when I was too young to know any better. But I still unwisely rely on these fears now, as a mature adult...
|
| Example Fear (#2): | Fear
of rejection
Where does this fear come from? Well, I actually think that this fear is more about fearing what other people might think of me. For example, "What sort of man is unable to commit?" or "What sort of man treats a woman 'like that'?" or "What do YOU know?" etc. (That is, what do other people think about me?) Reality (and positive self-talk): the only person whose opinions matter about me are mine - my views are what's important! |
Okay, that's just a very quick
look at one of my fears, at how I am going about facing and conquering fear.
Importantly, I know that the rewards for overcoming fear and anxiety are great, for me. (And for you, too, I'm sure.) And it is these rewards I shall leave you with:
| Reward: | "I will always respect what
others have to say about me, but I will continue to value highly what I say too.
"People often project their fears onto me; they do it unconsciously. But it serves no purpose to accept these fears as my own and I choose not to. However, any views about me expressed with compassion and love will be accepted by me with compassion and love. "My life is... my life; I take full responsibility!" |
See how this positive self-talk, combined with taking actions to actively seek out situations I otherwise would have avoided, can help overcome fear?
And this goes for the most common fears like fear of public speaking - recognise and acknowledge; understand; then act, with positive self-talk
This is all pretty much summarised in my YouTube video...
Overcoming fear - What DR Michael J Ducket says (via YouTube)...
DR Michael J Ducket talks about how to overcome fear in this YouTube video. "Fear isn't even real... It only exists in the future... And since the future doesn't exist... Guess what? Fear doesn't exist, either!"... So have no fear!
Great, DR Ducket, so fear doesn't exist! But then why do need to overcome it? Thankfully, DR Ducket explains all...
What Ross Jeffries says (via YouTube)...
Ross Jeffries is a dating 'guru' for men, so his video is about overcoming fear of approaching women. But his views on overcoming fear (whether you're a man or a woman) are inspirational if you take the time to understand what he's saying about fear.
The key is to allow yourself to not know what's going to happen - to be "willing to accept uncertainty".
Ross is quietly spoken and I don't think the
sound on this video is well-recorded, but I still urge you to listen closely (again,
suited to both genders).