"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

My Nightmare

by Karina
(Florida, USA)

     Today was a decent day. I only started to cry once. I cry because I feel like I'm about to lose it. I will myself to stay strong, it is so hard.

     My story is about the same as so many others. My husband of 31 years has had very little work for about 5 years. He is now working full steam, 7 days a week if he can. We just can't get ahead.

     I worry every day my house will be foreclosed on. We only owe about $7,000.00 on it. If it goes, I will have lost everything I own. The creditors call all the time. We don't believe in bankruptcy. You make the bill, you pay it. That is how we feel.

     Because we have made a little money we couldn't get assistance. We make too much. We have made enough to pay our utilities and buy food. And it has not been high quality food either.

     I'm so sick and tired of seeing people with food stamp cards driving nice cars and wearing more gold than I sold to feed my family. They wear nicer clothes than I did when I had a nice size savings account.

     I go to work every day; a job I've had for 16 years. I work with kids with special needs. Most of my check goes for health care for our family. Both my husband and I have health issues, we can't go without insurance.

I have loved this job for many years. I guess I would still love it if I weren't so stressed out. But, you know when a kid tells you to shut up, multiple times when all you ask them to do is sit up and not sleep in class...... Enough is enough. I bring home barely enough to cover my gas expense and well, I'm there to teach, not watch someone sleep.

     I'm sorry, I have so much more to say, but at this point I just don't know how to get my point across. I'm tired, scared, hurting, and can't get a good nights sleep because I'm to stressed out.

     I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day, and the next.......

Comments for My Nightmare

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Dec 04, 2012
Things seem bad. How to start doing something about it.
by: Sandy

1) Carve out some space for yourself to experience a full range of emotions. There is nothing wrong with crying. In fact crying releases some of the pent up frustrations and emotions. But add something: write your feelings, thoughts and dreams in a journal. This will keep you with hope.

2) Be thankful your husband has a job even if it is for 7 days a week. This job need not be the end all. He can decide he will make the job or some aspect of it work for him. 31 years old is young. He has energy. Try to see the bright side. Journal on what you are thankful for.

3) Worry focuses on the future. Worrying only makes you more tired and negative. You are worrying about a day that may never come. It is enough to deal with the present. Again focus on what you have now.

4) Go to a legitimate Credit Counseling Agency and let them help you. Check with the better business bureau or call your local TV consumer reporter and get the name of a legitimate credit counseling agency. Move into action.

5) Perhaps not getting assistance is happening for a reason. I know you think you need it; but often when we don't get what we want it causes us to become more creative. You can make money from creativity.

Take a look at the website ETSY and look under some of your favorite things. Now, can you make any of these things and sell them? I've seen all types of things that people want and need that can be made in a different way.

Assess your skills, interests and hobbies; what can you do with them?

6) Forget about others on food stamps and what they are doing; just you focus on doing the right thing for you. Its just draining you of your energy. Why judge? Just focus on you and your family. Journal on what do I get by focusing on someone else?

7) You work with kids with special needs. "special needs"; that can be tiring but I'm sure it has been rewarding on some level. I bet you have a lot to offer to people who are taking care of people(young and old) with special needs. Perhaps that can be turned into something more rewarding; focus on the parts of the job that give you joy.

Be thankful for a job that provides health benefits which you need right now. If you choose see it as a job and then start identifying things you can do that bring you joy.

8) Tomorrow will be as good as you feel. Its time for you to commit to giving up the negativity and being more thankful for what you have. Google gratitude journals and see what comes up. I think it will help you to keep one.

All of these suggestions may seem hard; but none of them are doable if you don't get into more of a positive frame of mind. So each week give yourself some time to "feel" but then commit on the other days to finding what brings you joy and try at least one of the suggestions above.

I wrote this because I could feel you spiraling down into despair and I know from personal experience that can lead to more pain and heart ache.


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