"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

My Low Self Esteem Signs

by R
(Liverpool, UK)

Low Self Esteem Signs (of which there are many)...

I fear talking in front of people in case they think that what I'm saying is boring or stupid. I think this stems from a best friend I had as a teen constantly overshadowing me and not listening to anything I had to say.

(This is the biggest problem in my life, actually, and I constantly believe people aren't listening to what I say, so simply don't talk in order to resolve this.)

I hate a lot of aspects of my personality. I let people walk all over me all the time. I avoid confrontations because I'm weak. I think I'm boring.

I have a boyfriend who I fear will leave me because of these bad personality traits I have.

I have a history of self-harming. I used to do it, not because I wanted to die, but because I wanted to punish myself for being such a terrible person. Luckily, I have stopped self-harming now however the feelings I experienced which led me to do it still remain.

I'm afraid I have fallen in to the trap of obsessively admiring and comparing myself to celebrities. I don't feel like I match any of them in looks or personality. I therefore constantly have feelings of inadequacy.

I hate the way I look. My nose, my thighs (and the rest of my legs), my boobs, my skin, my stomach, my hips, my calves, my feet...

I have big dreams for what I want to do in life but I'm afraid that with this low self-esteem I will never get there. I so desperately want to be in control but I can't seem to quite grasp it yet.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, R - it takes courage to even acknowledge these thoughts to yourself, let alone share them with the world. (Yes, you ARE a courageous woman!) As to other issues you mention, I thought I would point you (and anyone else reading this page) to relevant resources:

* Fear of public speaking - I recently joined Toastmasters, and found them a friendly, encouraging group of people all keen to learn how to speak in public and listen to others do the same. You might enjoy sharing, here, R

* Body image page - many people (women) are also comparing themselves to others, and doing so in an unflattering and unkind way

* Self hypnosis downloads page - self-hypnosis is a great way to reprogram the way you think, even about yourself. I've used hypnosis to deal with fear of commitment, and assertiveness so far. I find it very useful to think and feel thoughts that are kinder to me, so maybe you will too R...

Click here to post comments

Return to Your Low Self Esteem Signs.