"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

My Low Self Esteem Signs 10

by Anon
(South Africa)

Feeling like my needs never mattered -- awful feeling, like I have no rights

I grew up in a big family and I was second to last in the line of children. My only sister was a year older than me and was extremely demanding and I always gave in to her needs because she would rant and rave and even hit me on many occasions.

All went well with us as long as things were going her way.

If I did disagree with her or didn't do something she expected me to do, it was "hell" for me. She was an aggressive person and would not think twice of hitting anybody that she thought should behave in a certain way. I realised later on in life that all she really craved was love and our mother was not able to show this to any of us.

I also always thought my sister was a stronger person than me, but I woke up to the realisation that I was actually the strong person and she was really a needy person. I only experienced self growth when she left my life.

As long as she stayed in my life, she would totally dominate.

She seemed to have this obsession with me but this was probably because nobody else in the family took any interest and I understood her pain but also battled to deal with it.

They were all scared of her aggression and totally domineering nature.

Whoa!! I have just realised how long this story could go on for but I am stopping now as the feelings are still around and I have worked on myself to forgive us both and still am working on letting go of it all.

A New Way of Seeing Self-Esteem?

Steve here, and for the last few years (since Oct 2012, actually) I've been seeing (and thinking about) low self-esteem in a different way. Not as a problem to fix, but as feedback to notice (and nothing more). That's right: nothing to fix, everything to notice. And all this became obvious to me after being introduced to the Three Principles behind life (in Oct 2012).

I created a free 1-page Self-Esteem Guide that explains more, anyway. You can read about it here (NO EMAIL REQUIRED) - SMNash.com/self-esteem-guide/

Thank you - Steve



Comments for My Low Self Esteem Signs 10

Nov 03, 2010
I can relate
by: sandy

Please take some meaningful time away from everyone and write down all the questions you have for your sister and ask her to to do the same and arrange to meet just to get an understanding of each other's point of view. Preferably have a counselor to help you. I think you will both learn a lot about why things happened; perhaps this beginning communication can help both of you. Sometimes people do things and perceive things a certain way because of their roles in the family at the time. Hope this works.

Nov 01, 2010
by: Steve


Your low self esteem symptoms 'story' reveals a great deal of compassion, understanding and love including self-love.

You see why your sister is as she is.

Yet you realise that you cannot tolerate her behaviour anymore, as it is unhealthy for you to do so.

AND you recognise that this 'story' has a long way to go before full healing has occurred.

So I say "bravo" to you, and thank you VERY MUCH for sharing this with us all.

I wish you well


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