My Husband 'Knows Best'
by Devika K
My question is about, broadly speaking, how to deal with controlling relationships. In my case, my husband seems to want to control, via the decisions we make, and I am finding this frustrating...
"Relationships Q&A with You, Me and Paula Renaye"
QUESTION: What do you do when your husband thinks he knows better than you?... MORE FROM Devika...
My husband is a lot better than he was before with his attitude towards my opinion on matters. He still either ignores me or disagrees when I suggest something like I know a good dentist or painter.
He wants to be in control.
As long as he comes up with the idea or suggestion, it's all good and he will make decisions without any problem. But if I suggest we do something or go somewhere, & he doesn't want to then that won't happen.
We have a great life and our relationship is improving but I can still see this attitude in him. We do a lot together and go many places because they are all his choices and decisions.
And this is wonderful. But on little daily matters, I am noticing that he still dispels me until and unless he decides.
I believe this to be a common problem. What is your advice?
Short relationship question so I have a short answer for you..."Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you enough chance to love you enough."
-- Dinah Shore
There are many reasons why people try to control others, but (I believe) most stem from some kind of insecurity, from some kind of fear. So, for example, maybe your husband feels he should be the one to make the important decisions at home otherwise... otherwise what need do you have of him?
Whatever the reason for this control - and he really might not see it this way, let's be honest - I think approaching your husband, calmly and fairly about this subject is the only way to go. Just be prepared for his answers, I guess...