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"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

My Husband, Desire, and I

I love my husband, but I'm getting tired of not feeling desire by him, and my thoughts of getting a divorce never seem to go away. Is it selfish of me to want more?...

QUESTION: Is It Selfish For Me To Want More?...

MORE FROM Anon...

I'm having selfish thoughts...

I've been married for 10 years. We have a 9 year old son. And our marriage has never been great.

Throughout most of the marriage I've thought a lot about divorce, but we have both matured over the years and so the reasons to get divorced become different.

My husband has grown into a very caring father and is helpful with taking care of the home.

He is a good man and deserves to be happy.

I don't feel we've ever really connected on a deep level but I've lived with it. Our relationship feels empty and I long to be with someone who desires me.

There are many men out there who do but I don't believe my husband is one of them. I feel as though I've put so much effort into this marriage, that I'm spent - I don't want to keep trying anymore.

Should I just suck it up and keep going?

It's getting harder and harder to turn down those who do show desire ...

Comments for My Husband, Desire, and I

An Unhappy Relationship?
by: Steve

It sounds to me, and excuse me if I'm wrong, that you've never really wanted to be with your husband, but you've never really had a reason not to be.

So perhaps, now, you're at the end of your tolerance for him, or for the relationship?

I wonder why you married him in the first place, and why you never got divorced all those times you thought of it.

What's keeping you there?

I think if you explore these questions (and the answers that may result) you may be able to make peace with whatever it is that says you must be in this relationship (or you must end this relationship).

I wish you well, and thank you for sharing your relationship problem with us all here at Self Help Collective

Steve

Ps I'd also recommend you take a look at Michael Neill's supercoach website. It's not about relationships, but about how we think (and thus how we think of relatioinships). You might find some peace there, too.

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