My Best Friend and I...
by Francesca smith
I love spending time with my best friend, a man. In fact, I love him and I think I'd like more from our relationship - think he would too! But then I'm not sure, either, and neither is he, and every time I try to change our relationship - move on, or get closer - things don't work out. I don't know what to do...
"Your Relationship Questions, Your Answers!"
QUESTION: Should I Move On?MORE FROM Francesca...
For a long time now I have been in love with my bestfriend. We communicate everyday, and a day without talking feels like a day wasted. I can become very jealous if I know he is talking with other girls; I don't want anyone else to see how amazing he is, because he might actually fall in love with them.
He knows that I love him, and sometimes we talk about it but when we do we always end up confused in what to do.
I asked him one time if he has feelings for me and all he said is 'I do have feelings for you but I've never had these ones before, so I don't know what they are'.
Does this mean he likes me? Or not?
He also gets very jealous when other guys try talking to me, and sometimes even falls out with me if I talk back - he also said he isn't ready for a relationship, yet, but when he is he is coming straight to me. What does that mean? How long do I wait? Should I wait?
I've tried moving on before, it didn't work! He fights for me not to go because he says I mean everything to him. even if I did go I would end right back were I started because I can't live without him, I'm my self around him and he gets me like no one else.
We are both so confused. Does his feelings mean he loves me? Should I wait for him or try and go? I'm in pain all the time, I have heartache and I just hope something happens soon, please help me.
STEVE'S ANSWER"A ship in harbor is safe -- but that is not what ships are built for."
-- John A. Shedd
It sounds to me like you ARE in relationship already - the pain you have is knowing what to call it, and how to let it grow!
You both seem to want to have a relationship but for nothing to change with how you are.
You both seem to think that life should contain no risks, no (potential) heartache - that potential joy is fine, but potential pain is not!
Indeed, as I read your question, it sounds like you're both looking at a really yummy chocolate cake
, marvelling at how delicious it looks and smells and tastes (you sneak small, barely noticeable mouthfuls when you think no-one is looking)! But you're both wondering about the cake, wondering whether it's real, whether you have time to eat cake right now; and what it means when the small bit of cake you've tasted tastes so different to any cake you've ever tasted!
The answer, obviously, is EAT THE CAKE and find out
Life is not an observation sport, and neither is love. If you want to know, find out - BOTH of you, find out! Take a step into the unknown - gentle, loving steps, but steps nevertheless - and find out.
Seriously... find out!
You can't stay in the harbour forever, you two...
NOTE: I've created a relationships ebook called "Top 10 Relationship Questions... Answered" that aims to help anyone in a romantic relationship - whether it's to start/end a relationship, or to learn how to trust in a relationship, or even how to deal with a controlling relationship.
And the answers in the ebook I provide (based on questions asked in the Relationship Advice Forum) help you find your answers, in your own unique relationships. I recommend it, but then I would say that wouldn't I! Find out more here...
(Dec 1st, 2015)