"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

My Anger at My Girlfriend

by Davis Breckenridge
(Edmonton, AB, Canada)

A Continuous Re-Ocurring Horrible Way Of Expressing Anger And Frustration... Violently

I don't really have an angry moment to describe and/or tell you about. It is more of a description of how I eventually express my anger that should most likely be referred to as pure RAGE.

Almost all the time and any time that my girlfriend and I have an issue, problem, or try to tell the other how we feel about a certain situation... It turns into a full blown yelling fight.

Pretty much every time our discussions or talks morph into this screaming battle, I am overcome with this rage. That rage ends up being expressed in a violent way. I end up putting my fist through a wall or a door, or I will smash my head against the wall, or I will grab any object within the vecinity, and throw it sometimes in the direction of my girlfriend, and sometimes those things hit her.

I get so mad, angry, and frustrated that I "see red" and snap.

Then I ALWAYS end up disgusted with myself, and the fact that I have hurt my girl, emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically.

I know that this is wrong and not any way to behave. There is no excuse for reacting that way or in such a fashion.

Now I know these things and I still end up exploding. I always do this with, and its always directed at my girlfriend.

I try not to blame her for me reacting like that, because I know I shouldn't. We can not control other people, what they do, say, and/or how they feel, we can only control our selves and how we choose to react.

But I still continue to explode in a blind rage where I end up hurting myself or her, and I have no idea what to do about it, how to fix this problem, or what steps I need to take because I am willing and wanting to work on my problem.

But I can't seem to put the knowledge that I have aquired to use, or input it into my brain as to use it to help stop this...

Can anyone please give me some advice on what I may have to (or should) do?

Comments for My Anger at My Girlfriend

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Jan 24, 2013
About me and you
by: Anonymous

Because I'm not there and do not know you or your girlfriend, I can only share what I know and have experienced. Maybe it will shed some light; I don't know.

Here are the questions that come to my mind...

Do you "really" know your girlfriend? Are there aspects of her that you feel she hasn't shared with you? And can you think of reasons that she may be reluctant to do so?

And the questions I think you may want to look at is: Do you really know yourself? Are there things you use to put up with involving your girlfriend if that you started a relationship again you would not? Are there areas in your relationship which are affected by things that your girlfriend doesn't know or wouldn't (in your perception) like or understand about you?

In other words I've found that people are more alike than different. Usually for me when I've been angry with some one, I actually was angry at myself for not having been true to who I am with that person. It catches up with you later down the road.

I use my anger, now, to look at myself. I usually realize that there are complex aspects of myself that many people don't know even with my best of friends. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them, or anything wrong with me. It just means that it is what it is and there is something I need to learn about myself.

When I'm feeling more "whole" and at peace with my beliefs, thoughts and feelings, I'm able to better appreciate that others too may have issues which have nothing to do with me.

Are you being hard on yourself? That is the question( at least that is what helps me when I feel angry)

Wishing you the best.

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