"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

My "Alpha Male" Boyfriend...

by Beth
(Wisconsin, USA)

My on-off relationship of 3 years struggles because my man wants to be the head of the house - the alpha male - and I struggle to be controlled like this. What do I do?...

QUESTION: "My boyfriend wants me to submit in our relationship...!


My boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for almost 3 years now - the majority of the 'off' and on has been in the past year.

We keep knocking heads because he said he's going to be the alpha male, head of household, the boss in a sense no matter what!

It's his role as a man, and he won't change for anyone! We split the household expenses right down the middle.

He has two children of whom are only with us three weekends a month and still I pay half, which is for the most part fine with me, but we keep ending up on the 'alpha male' page which in turn breaks us up.

I have been independent and taking care of myself for over 20 years now, and in a sense have been head of household. I do somewhat the majority of household chores, he does some.

I guess my question is are we meant to fail, not compatible, am I being selfish in not submitting to him, could this be something that I should change in order to have a good relationship with him or any man for that matter, or should it be something we should seek from another partner?...


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"It’s not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you are"
-- Unknown

I'm not really sure what you and he means by "alpha male". For me, the best heterosexual relationships draw on the strongest masculine qualities and the strongest feminine qualities - it is a partnership.

Now, again for me, any "alpha male" worth his salt, should be willing to be in partnership with his woman!

But I don't really understand the term here - I think it means different things to different people.

From what you say, you pay your share - so you have some form of economic independence - perhaps you pay more than your share, it could be said (paying for his children's upkeep, for example).

I think I'd really need to know what form of control you're resisting from this man, and why he feels he needs to control this way.

In short, what "being an alpha male" mean to you and he both?



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