Love, Trust... And Money!
My long-term relationship is in jeopardy over money, trust, and poor communication. And I'm not sure what to do about it...
"Relationships Q&A with You, Me and Paula Renaye"
QUESTION: Wife Not Being Honest and Thinking Of Leaving!... MORE FROM Bruce...
I just found out on the weekend through friends that my common law spouse was planning on moving out of our house. She was away for the weekend with her sister at the time, and I guess one of our friends phoned her and she then texted me that she was in fact planning to move out.
We have been together for about 13 years, and have lived in a house that we purchased while together for about 7 years. At the time of the house purchase, I could not qualify for a mortgage because I was self employed, and did not have a lot of credit history. The house is therefore in her and her brother's names.
I put close to $20K in cash into the house purchase, and she contributed about the same amount at the time of purchase. I have made most of the mortgage payments out of my income for the past 7 years.
Since the weekend, we have had a long talk, and agreed to give things a couple of months to see if we can put our relationship back together. In her opinion, we have grown apart, and that is partially true.
She told me about 6 weeks ago that she was re-mortgaging the house to take advantage of the new low interest rates, and to pay off a couple of her small personal bills so that her pension would provide enough funds that she no longer needs to work.
I have now discovered, only by finding the new mortgage statement laying on the dining room table, that she has in fact increased the mortgage by over $40K, and I assume put most of the money into her savings account.
I am in a dilemma! I don't really want to throw the relationship away, but I don't want to cause a huge argument by calling her on the $40K increase in the mortgage. I am quite sure that I could secure my position on the house through legal channels, but do I want to go there at this point?
Has anyone got any suggestions?