And I should know, because my inability to listen properly has got me into a lot of trouble over the years! Oops.
So *I* shall be coming back to this page often to study careful what Peter Murphy has to say about one of the most basic of communication skills: listening.
And this is what Peter has to say, in summary:
Good listening is vital for effective communication skills and it consists of learning to paraphrase, getting clarification where necessary, being aware of body language, being quick to respond, being patient as a listener, understanding verbal and nonverbal communication, and more...
I'll talk about all of these tips below - in both and text and video form, oh yes...
Okay, firstly I have to say hats off to Peter Murphy - I think his thoughts on are some of the best on the Self Help Collective site, in my humble opinion anyway. Perhaps this is because my listening skills are not so great - I couldn't possibly comment! - but Peter really does show you how to improve one of the basic communication skills: that of listening.
And to see how bad I am as a listener - but illustrate one art of good listening, that of repeating what the other person has said! - I'm going to comment directly on a few of Peter's tips:
1. Practice to Paraphrase.
I don't do this much, but it's a simple thing (I hope) to help my day-to-day communications with all those fortunate enough to have to communicate with me. :-)
3. Give effective feedback
In other words respond to what the person is saying - it kinda proves that you were listening. Thankfully, I do this. (Do you?)
4. Always be aware of body language.
Hmm, that body language stuff is pretty tricky to me. Good job I'm going to learn about it via this website.
5. Focus on the speaker
Again, this should go without saying. If you're checking out other (more interesting?) people whilst listening to someone it's not too clever. You know that. So do I. Let's both agree to stop doing it then, shall we? :-)
Again, if you actually care about what the person is saying it's going to improve your ability to listen. Put yourself in their shoes. And do this often.
10. Avoid cutting off before they have finished speaking.
Ah, mea culpa - as they say in Latin. It means that I make this mistake far too often. It's rude. It's impatient. And it's just bad listening.
So how did you get on with Peter's tips? Watch my video summary of his article, below, to find out and please share your listening tips too!...