I Still Get Angry At Things
by Cristina Diaz
Anger... hum! I still do get angry at things, but not as much as I used to just a year ago - so I'm making progress :-)
Probably the one thing that makes me angry the most is when I feel that somebody is acting unfairly towards me (say, when I feel I've done nothing wrong yet somebody is angry/demeaning/rude to me).
How do I sort it? How do I go about dealing with anger?
In extreme cases, when I'm really angry beyond control, I may beat pillows and release some energy - if you do that, be careful with your hands! ;-)
When the anger is more controllable, I go through different stages. The initial one is just the thoughts that go on in my head, as if I was speaking to the person that I feel has done wrong to me, "Can't you see so and so???"
There is a better next stage, since I start from the base that I do not want to feel angry, I do not want to send negative thoughts to anybody, and I wish peace for all involved. This next stage involves understanding.
I say to myself that I'm not understanding something there. Then there is a shift in perception, a kind of stepping back and seeing the situation from above, if you like.
This approach has helped me in many occasions to realize that the other person was hurting themselves and that's why the acted the way they did, and so I'm then overflown with compassion for the other person and for myself.
This doesn't happen always, but it is beautiful when it does. It really opens for a newer, refreshed state.
I also feel that when I feel angry there is something I'm clinging to
. And when I can identify what it is and understand it from a higher perspective, anger is transformed.
Generally speaking, I feel that anger
is more of an issue for men than for women... but that may just be a false perception ;-)