"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

How I Found Love

by Christine
(Seattle, WA, USA)

Let me start by saying how incredible it is to find a website like [SelfHelpCollective.com]. Great articles, fantastic advice, no egos!

What is Love?... and How I Found It

I started my journey to self-help and discovering what is love last year. I was horribly, miserably depressed that my boyfriend was going to jail. I couldn't imagine spending so long away from him and started eating myself into a stupor.

One of my friends noticed my downward spiral and told me about her relationship coach. I was surprised to see that she had a relationship coach! My friend, "Janet," had it all. She was smart and vivacious. Her fiance was an airline pilot and she always seemed like she was so happy. I was always jealous of Janet and it floored me to see that she needed any help at all.

"I wasn't always like this," she explained, "I used to be so attracted to complete losers and spend years trying to change them into what I thought they were capable of." She was referred to Roberto, our coach, by a friend and thought that she might as well give it a try. And to see where she is now!

By the way, I like Roberto because he is just like your SelfHelpCollective.com site - "No Gurus Here!" ;o)

The first thing Roberto asked is why someone with my education (I have a Masters degree) even knows someone who's going to jail. It was funny at first, but then it really started to sink in... I have a lifetime of horrible relationships because of the class of men I was dating. Like Janet, I was finding fixer-uppers and putting all my effort into fixing someone who had no desire to be a better person.

So I took all of that energy and focused it on myself. What is love? It should start with yourself! I found ways of really loving who I was and Roberto and I worked on ways to not really need a man in my life. At first, I resisted the whole "not having men in my life" thing. I love guys! Why would I not want them around?

A funny thing started happening...

The better I made myself, the more guys were popping into my life. These were good guys too. Not only did they have real jobs, some of them were doing pretty well for themselves (and to think of my EX boyfriend still sitting in jail!)

I might have actually waited for him too. I just know he would keep cheating on me.

So here I am a year later. I'm almost down to my target weight. I quit my lousy job and started consulting. I'm dating 2 guys. Both are great, but I'm still discovering what I'm truly looking for in a man. One is a phenomenal Chiropractor, the other is a very talented voice-over actor. Which one will I choose? There's no hurry. I'm just enjoying how differently each one is romancing me.

The old me would have NEVER done something like this. I used to grab on with both hands and put everything I had into my relationships. Now I feel like I have control. Life is beautiful!

I would recommend Roberto Hogue to everyone, but this is the no guru zone and I think he said he's not taking any new clients. He did put out a book though, the one he gave us when we became his clients: http://www.artofirresistible.com.

Good luck to anyone that reads this!

And remember, self-improvement really is a life-long journey.

Love yourself and your life will get a million times better!


Comments for How I Found Love

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Jan 05, 2011
Thanks, Christine
by: Steve

Your story is fascinating.

It just goes to show what can happen when someone is prepared to take a long look at their behaviour, guided by someone who knows what to look for and how to encourage the necessary change.

It also shows me that whilst you carried on wanting to be with your now EX that this didn't help him either, help him become the man he *really is* deep down.

So you're on the right path now, inviting great men into your life, and now it's up to your EX to look closely at himself, to stop making excuses. And let's hope he does so!

Thanks for your empowering story Christine. I'm glad Roberto was able to steer you towards your greater self...


Ps Did guru-free Roberto teach you the power of flattery too! ;-) Seriously, thanks for your kind words on the SelfHelpCollective.com site

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