"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

Going Back or Moving On?

by Carla

My marriage has never been a good one - my husband was 'neglectful' - and I stayed until our youngest was 18. But now, some years later, I'm conflicted as to whether to go back with my husband (and family) or start a new relationship with a man I feel compatible with. Help me?...

QUESTION: Should I Get Back With My Husband?...

MORE FROM Carla...

I have been married many years to someone who was very neglectful, a workaholic, and secretive about money. I stayed until the youngest of our children was 18, then my misery drove me to leave.

I spent a year on my own, trying to work out who I was by myself, but our children have largely taken his part and drifted away from me. I find myself getting more and more anxious and depressed.

Last year, I went overseas for a while and met someone who I consider a very good friend. He however, has confessed he would like to start a romantic relationship with me, and I am tempted, because I feel we are very compatible, and it has been a long time since I have felt in love.

I have not been able to bring myself to divorce my husband though. I rationalise this as me not wanting to disconnect myself from my children even more, but I wonder if I have unresolved feelings.

My husband and I have been talking about me going back to him - he says he has changed, and is willing to try harder. I am not sure - I know that if this is successful, we can have family Christmasses and birthdays etc together, which I really miss.

I don't feel my choice is which has more to offer - I believe either choice has good things. I feel it is more like I have to decide which to do without - love or my children.

I have to choose one way, and soon. I can't keep two men dangling like this.

Does anyone have any advice?



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