SelfHelpCollective.com

DOES She Like Me?

by Miles B.
(Moreno Valley, CA, USA)

I like her and I know she likes me, but I need her to tell me that she likes me, give me permission to ask her out and she won't. We used to be really good friends, too, and now she wants space. But I really like her - what do I do?...

QUESTION: She Likes Me, But..?...

MORE FROM Miles...

There's this girl that likes me. I know for a fact that she likes me, she tells all her friends and talks to me with that sparkle in her eye and everything.

And I like her, too. The only problem is... that she won't tell me that she likes me.

I confronted her about it, and she told me that we "need to give each other space for a few months."

She also tells me that she's not good enough for me and that I deserve better, and that the two of us were never meant to be; that we're two totally different people.

She knows I like her too, but she keeps telling me to move on, even though she still likes me.

Now why would she tell me this? And how should I fix it?

We were best friends, like super-close friends, but now.... now she tells me we should give each other space for a few months.

She specifically tells her friends that she "likes me, but I need to be more spontaneous." So should I leave her alone to avoid annoying her and making her mad... or should I do something else?

She told me to stop pursuing it... but I don't want to, and I know she doesn't want me to either.

 

 

STEVE'S ANSWER

"Every woman is a mystery to be solved."
-- Don Juan DeMarco

Please know, Miles, I've been there, where you're at right now with this girl - that haunting place where you know that what's being said and what's being felt do not match! (Well, it haunted me anyway!)

And rather than talk of 'complicated women' (or 'complicated men' - I'm sure mixed messages are not the sole preserve of the feminine), I ask you instead to act from what you FEEL. Trust your feelings, act on them - with force, please, and with certainty! - and accept the resulting outcome.

So tell this girl what you feel for her, what you want for you both - that you want to be together, as a couple. And be genuine, be honest, be open when you do so!

And if your actions persuade her that you ARE interested, that you're not relying on her to make your move, then enjoy the resulting relationship. And know that actions speak louder than words - always!

If your actions do not convince, or if she genuinely is NOT interested then move on - give this girl space, and make space for yourself too to find a girl that does want to be with you.


Fact is, Miles, is that being able to solve this 'mystery', is what gets you the girl, and not solving it - as so often happened for me - is what leads to yet another great woman (girl) slipping through your fingers.

So my 'instincts' say she is interested and you're not taking the right actions (i.e. you "need to be more spontaneous" - less 'guided' by her), but I may be wrong.

Remember, though: romance is not a puzzle to be solved; it's theatre to enact.


Steve