"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

Desperately Seeking Attention, and Approval

by Anon

A lot of people who know me would indeed consider me to be a very confident, outgoing person.

I can socialise with others, mix and hold my own conversation - but it is almost done in a 'performance'-like manner.

I do not have a regular group of friends of my own - instead I go out with my boyfriend once in a while and socialise with his friends. But it is a rare event and so gives me time to make sure I am in good form for a strong performance!

Make me 'socialise' spontaneously and I would struggle. As I get older I am also finding it hard to maintain performances and often feel I am losing my sanity as a consequence, resorting to irrational behavior.

If my audience does not respond to me, I clam up and want to disappear and I will often go and seek other things to do to get away from the situation or just decide to leave altogether.

For more attention, I have been known to just walk off and have everyone wonder where - it's like I am causing a sense of emergency. Sometimes I like to push things so far to cause others to change their emotional state so that I end up appearing to be the one that is calm and in control.

I am aware that my actions are not 'normal' and really want to get my levels of self esteem right so that I can contribute in society effectively and also prevent there being any further strain on my relationship (which is starting to show).

A New Way of Seeing Self-Esteem?

Steve here, and for the last few years (since Oct 2012, actually) I've been seeing (and thinking about) low self-esteem in a different way. Not as a problem to fix, but as feedback to notice (and nothing more). That's right: nothing to fix, everything to notice. And all this became obvious to me after being introduced to the Three Principles behind life (in Oct 2012).

I created a free 1-page Self-Esteem Guide that explains more, anyway. You can read about it here (NO EMAIL REQUIRED) - SMNash.com/self-esteem-guide/

Thank you - Steve



Comments for Desperately Seeking Attention, and Approval

Dec 22, 2010
Response to desperately seeking attention and Approval
by: sandra

You're answering your own issue. You are desperately seeking....it will never happen because many people are not into giving attention to others and approving of them. You see the only "real" attention and approval comes from not seeking for it.

I've found grounded real people love people who are confident and don't need their approval. Only "phony" people would approve of you and give you attention when you are insecure. Real down to earth good people will accept you as you are in this moment realizing that behaviors, personalities are subject to change.

So what I would do: look deep within and getting to know your self. Your post shows you are ready; you've essentially said that you are phony or an impostor. How do you feel about that? what are you willing to give up,in terms of behaviors and attitudes, to effect change? are you willing to change? are you willing to be more concerned about your own issues than to seek approval from others.

Life is beautiful and everyone in it brings their own special spice.

Be yourself and if they don't like: let it be. Move on and seek the wonder and beauty of life.

Dec 22, 2010
Open and Honest
by: Steve

Thanks to the anonymous contributor of yet another collection of low self esteem symptoms, this time tightly focussed around pretending to be someone you're not just for attention.

Wow! This is so open, and honest.

I wonder, actually, how many people reading these low self esteem signs might recognise a part of themselves here, too.

To the contributor, if you ever read this, I think the first stage in your necessary change has begun by you sharing these personal insights with us AND - more importantly - with yourself...

Keep on facing yourself, all of you - not just the nice bits!


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