SelfHelpCollective.com

Classic Boy-Girl Stuff!

by Kevin

I really liked this girl from my class, but never did anything about it. Now she doesn't have a boyfriend I'm interested again, but don't know what to do to let her know (I think she likes me)...

QUESTION: Getting Back In Touch With Crush?...

MORE FROM Kevin...

I'm 20 and currently in my second year of college. In high school, I had a girl in my class for the last three years. I sat behind her during math for a year and we would laugh a lot. I really liked her, but I was too afraid to do anything. Too focused on what other people thought and a lack of self esteem.

In the last few months of high school she got a boyfriend, this lasted for two years and I think they broke up a few weeks ago.


Now some of my friends always said they thought she liked me and I think the same thing too. I'm working hard to fix my self esteem issues and I'm doing a lot better (going to the gym, taking care of myself etc.), still have some bad days, but who doesn't.

I would really love to get in touch with her, cause I never really stopped thinking about her. Especially since I saw her on the bus a few weeks ago. She's actually going to study abroad for a few months soon (September - January), but this doesn't really matter. After that I already planned on putting aside everything and just chatting to her on Facebook, but it's still really difficult. She lives and studies close to me, but I hardly see her (haven't spoken to her in two years). I only have Facebook really.


What should I do, how to initiate a conversation? I'm really new to all this, mainly because of all these insecurities, which I'm working hard on to overcome these. Any advice is more than welcome.

 

 

STEVE'S ANSWER

Here are 3 inspirational quotes by none other than artist Pablo Picasso, that might be of assistance to you, Kevin...

"Action is the foundational key to all success."
-- Pablo Picasso

"He can who thinks he can, and he can't who thinks he can't. This is an inexorable, indisputable law."
-- Pablo Picasso

"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it."
-- Pablo Picasso

So, you have taken one small action by submitting your question to our relationship advice forum - well done! Now you must follow that up with taken another action - find a way to contact this girl, and tell her you'd like to get to know her better.

What way?... YOU'LL find a way, I know you can work out how! (So too does Pablo!)

And if that 'way' doesn't work, find another way, and another. (How do you think so-called experts became so knowledgeable and skilled in their area of expertise? How do you think so-called dating gurus know so much about dating? Well, they took actions, and lots of them, and they did more of what worked and less of what didn't.)

So, in summary, Kevin - you CAN do this, work out what actions to take, and what to say to this girl. You just have to start telling yourself that you CAN, and focus on that rather belief, rather than on focussing on what you think you can't do...

(Taking actions like this is a fantastic way to boost your self-esteem, by the way!)

Thanks so much for your great question, that I'm sure a lot of people can relate to. This answer also applies to them!

Steve