"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

Beauty and Low Self Esteem

by Lonely Girl
(New York, USA)

Success And Good Looks Get You Nowhere...

I'm successful in sales, bought my own home on my own and turn plenty of guys heads when I enter a room but I feel so ugly and unloved on the inside.

I'm 31 and never been married. I'm independent and don't need anyone to take care of me but deep down that's all I ever wanted.

No matter how far I come I always come up short.

Everyone around me comments on what a great girl I am but I feel so alone and empty. Most of the guys I've dated spend more time worrying about my finding someone better than they pay attention to me. They take advantage of my success and throw it in my face.

I don't have many girlfriends because they are jealous of me for my looks and my easy going nature and the fact that guys notice me.

I find myself constantly apologizing for my success, my looks, my interests, my goals and dreams.

I have nothing to look forward to except for this lonely empty feeling...

At work I have great relationships with customers, but personally its a disaster.

I'm sick of my life.

Comments for Beauty and Low Self Esteem

Jan 03, 2012
by: Vikki

Hi, I was very saddened to read how you feel. Challenges in life come in all forms and shapes, and what you tell of is unfortunate. That to be beautiful and successful can actually carry such a burden.

In many ways we all have our strong & weak points and I have certainly felt the sting of jealousy coming my way. So yes I can empathise. My initial gut reaction on what may help you were to suggest that you plan to get away from the city life for awhile, maybe go on one of those tours where you go to remote places and help people in less fortunate situations.

The reason I thought of this was that there would be other people also interested to help these communities and they may be of a different mindset than those you know now. Perhaps more down to earth & interested in others for who they are not what they look like or how successful they are. With your ability to connect with customers, you may find by putting your skills into an area such as these projects, you can make some good friends and deeper more lasting connections.

Then I also had some thoughts, which I usual fall back on, of the fundamental relationship with yourself. These experiences that have occurred in your life have created some beliefs in your mind that may be playing over & over and have actually become a convincing story, that is holding you captive in a way.

It's your own belief in who you are that needs to over ride the way other people may treat you (still working on this one myself!!) Many meditation techniques address this problem of conditioned thoughts running our beliefs and behaviours and can teach skills on how to undo some of this conditioning. And hopefully release us from some of our misery.

There are so many around. I like any form of Buddhism, Vipassana meditation courses are great. Can google. Also the radiant mind as taught by Eckhart Tolle - Youtube has some talks, he's a funny sort of character but if you give some time to listen to what he says I have found it helpful.

I feel that it's important to empower ourselves - we all need people and friends, but we need to work on being our own best friend. It can be really hard sometimes. When It comes to males and their behaviour I have found Christian Carter has some good insights. And recently a friend suggested I check out Dr. Hew Len on youtube who does an Hawaiian healing method. Keep trying to find some genuine people. good luck & take care.


Return to Your Low Self Esteem Signs.