"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)


Why Boyfriend 'Hiding' Me?

by Kaila

Why isn't my boyfriend introducing me to his family and friends? It makes me wonder how serious he is about our relationship, makes me think of breaking up with him...

"Relationships Q&A with You, Me and Paula Renaye"

QUESTION: I Don't Know If I Should Stay With My Boyfriend?...



MORE FROM Kaila...

I have a problem with my boyfriend.

We have been dating for a year now and he still hasn't introduced me to his family or friends. I'm 19 and he's 24. He says that he's a private person but then he talks about all his ex's and how they met his family.

I don't know what to do.

He always talks about his ex-girlfriend Nikki and how his Mom loved her, and I just want to know if something is wrong with me but every time I bring it up he just says he's a private person. But when he talks to his parents on the phone he never tells them I'm with him.

Also he never takes me places when he's hanging out with his friends. Example: at the end of May (2012) he's going boating with his friends from college and didn't invite me! Should I ask to go with him?...

Or should I just break up with him?

I need help with this. Thank you


 

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STEVE'S ANSWER

"I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason."
-- Stanley Baldwin

Kaila, I think you are brave for asking for help here. It sounds like you have recognised a 'problem', taken the steps to challenge it, and yet you still remain 'hidden' from your boyfriend's family and friends - you are, it seems, invisible and unknown.

Now it IS possible that your boyfriend does not introduce you to family and friends because he feels 'silly', in some way, for continually introducing new girlfriends to family/friends! (Do you see what I mean, here?)

So, until he trusts the relationship more he may well prefer to keep you a 'secret'.

OR... he could just be 'using you' in some way: perhaps, as you may suspect, he may not actually want to tell everyone about the relationship as he isn't bothered about it, knowing it will end soon.

What to do? Well, you can't force him to introduce him to your friends, but you can tell him how it makes you feel (the fact that no-one knows about you) and ask him to be really honest about his reasons for privacy! Then act accordingly.

Above all, trust your instincts! Women (and men) were given them for good reason - they guide us, and keep us safe, through life...

Steve


NOTE: I've created a relationships ebook called "Top 10 Relationship Questions... Answered" that aims to help anyone in a romantic relationship - whether it's to start/end a relationship, or to learn how to trust in a relationship, or even how to deal with a controlling relationship.

And the answers in the ebook I provide (based on questions asked in the Relationship Advice Forum) help you find your answers, in your own unique relationships. I recommend it, but then I would say that wouldn't I! Find out more here...

Steve
(Dec 1st, 2015)

 

Comments for Why Boyfriend 'Hiding' Me?

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Being hidden sucks
by: Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for over year and a half and he still hasn't introduced me to any of his family or friends. Makes me feel like I'm not worthy enough.

I tell him it makes me feel like garbage sometimes.

I love him so much it's hard to think about leaving him. I have a two-year-old son from a previous relationship and he treats them like his own son always tells him he loves him does things with him. My son needs a father figure in his life. My boyfriend is 53 and I'm 31. He tells me he loves me. But if he really loved me I don't see why he can't introduce me to any of his friends and family.

I just hurt so bad inside I really don't know what to do. Help

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