"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)


Trust Issues & Self-Esteem

by L
(Canada)


The preceding list of low self esteem signs (on this page) are good except for one: trust...


I find the issue of "lack of trust" to be misleading. We all have the propensity of being trustful, however, once trust is betrayed, it is long gone.

Trust is EARNED, not freely given. In accordance with trust and life experiences, lack of trust is a by-product of high self esteem. We learn from our past mistakes, thus hard earned trust. It's foolish to trust without any merit from another person.

This is why we get to know people more, to learn to trust them. So then, if I meet someone I don't know and I feel good about myself overall, it is good practice to have little trust in the beginning. I feel I am worth it and once that trust is earned, I gain more confidence in the potential relationship.

I don't know if I answered the question of low self esteem, but for the most part, my self esteem is high. I TRUST my gut, therefore I am.



STEVE COMMENT:

Hmm, not sure if I agree with you on this one, L. I believe that people with a healthy self-esteem trust people until they find reason to not trust them. (To a degree, obviously. Trust grows in good relationships, but the relationship starts out as being a trusting one first and foremost.)

Obviously, they trust their gut too - always! - but their default position is to trust first, rather than to mis-trust first which is what you seem to be advocating...

What does anyone else think?



A New Way of Seeing Self-Esteem?

Steve here, and for the last few years (since Oct 2012, actually) I've been seeing (and thinking about) low self-esteem in a different way. Not as a problem to fix, but as feedback to notice (and nothing more). That's right: nothing to fix, everything to notice. And all this became obvious to me after being introduced to the Three Principles behind life (in Oct 2012).

I created a free 1-page Self-Esteem Guide that explains more, anyway. You can read about it here (NO EMAIL REQUIRED) - SMNash.com/self-esteem-guide/

Thank you - Steve


 

 


Comments for Trust Issues & Self-Esteem

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May 25, 2012
Trust Issues and Self Esteem
by: Selina

Yeah L,
Steve is right.
To mistrust, we have to trust first.

But as the saying goes... "To each his own".. :)

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