Self-Confidence Through Recovery
When I was a kid I always felt just a bit different to my peers. I saw the kids who stood on the sidelines and never participated. I saw how they were chastised by others and did NOT want to be like them. So I quickly learned how to fake it. I learned to act like I understood what was going on.
Now, in my experience, some people are born alcoholic based on some anomaly in brain chemistry or genetics or... something. I am one of those people.
My Story Begins...When I was about 14 one of my friends had a bottle of blended whiskey
. I'm not sure where it came from but he and I made sure to polish it off. When that booze hit my belly I knew something was different. I felt like I had found the answer to all my problems
I ran with the party crowd through high school and really learned to drink in college. Somehow I graduated and found a job, working on a golf course, which allowed me to drink.
Over the years my drinking became more intense. I destroyed relationships and even ran off my drinking buddies because even the heaviest of drinkers among them couldn't drink like I could.
At age 35 I was hopeless, lonely and broken. In a state us utter despair I cried out to a God who I did not believe in. To my astonishment he answered me and told me it was time to put down the bottle. That week I entered an addiction treatment center
and began the difficult road toward recovery.Since getting sober I have gained a level of confidence that is hard to explain
. Despair has been replaced by hope. Anger has been replaced by compassion. Selfishness has been replaced by empathy.
In sobriety have been able to do a few important things...
1. Fix many broken relationships from the past;
2. Seek out and build a relationship with my birth family (I was adopted as a baby);
3. Start a small consulting business;
4. Become a better father to my daughter;
5. See value in myself and others;
6. Have healthy, adult relationships with people;
7. Become a better servant of my Higher Power;
8. Tell my story
of hope without the least bit of doubt or fear in hopes of showing other struggling alcoholics that they can find peace as well.
I' m no longer that awkward kid. I'm now a man who sees abundance and grace
in even the most difficult of situations. I look forward to life's challenges and will face them with confidence and faith... by the grace of God.