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Are you a serial self-sabotager? Hmm, sounds unpleasant doesn't
it. But imagine trying to achieve some important goal in life... ...
only for a good friend of yours to continually try and trip you up! Or put
you off Or plain undermine your efforts so that... eventually... you just
give up! Now imagine that friend to be, er... YOU! This is what is
known as self sabotage. And self-sabotage
is everywhere you are, or it can be. And that's why I've included (with
permission) Debbie Ford's Self Sabotage quiz - to see just how bad (or good) your
self-sabotage tendencies are.
Self sabotage quiz -
what I say...I don't need to take a quiz to know that I self-sabotage
- or at least I used to do, anyway! If you read 'my
story', you'll see the self-sabotage signs are clear: 'start an intimate relationship'
followed by 'find something wrong asap' followed by 'end the relationship'. Oh
yes, I've been there. (I'm sure you have too.) And, phew, self-sabotage is tiring
I can tell you! It's like trying to: - Drive your car whilst your hand
break is on.
- Walk fast down a busy 'sidewalk' with your shoelaces
tied together.
- Get a good night's sleep whilst listening to your
iPod on full volume...
You get the idea. Self-sabotage certainly ain't
big or clever! But it's everywhere, nevertheless. Yes, it's safe to say
that I am not a big fan of self-sabotage; that
I believe the world is a worse place because of it; that the Self
Help Collective is here to say to each and every site visitor (including me)
"love yourself
- it's more fun" :-) Let's see what the damage is then, shall we, by
taking Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz... (And if it turns out that you
do self-sabotage a lot, then I can highly recommend you check
out my favourite self-help articles at SelfHelpCollective.com - they're bound
to help! Or try one of those hypnosis
downloads for self-sabotage!)
The Self Sabotage
Scale - Are You Headed in the Wrong Direction...Self sabotage quiz -
what Debbie Ford has to say...Copyright 2008, Debbie Ford. Do not re-use
without permission.
www.debbieford.com
The Self-Sabotage Scale: Are You Headed in the Wrong Direction? 1.
How long have you been working on the same issues, be they in the area
of
your career, health, intimate relationships or finances?
A. Less than 12 months
B. 1-3 years
C. More than five years
D. More than ten years (Note:
this is part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used with permission.) 2.
In the past 12 months, how many times have you misplaced something
important,
gotten a traffic ticket, had an accident, or destroyed something of
value?
A. None
B. Once or twice
C. More than five times
D. More than ten
times (Note: this is part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used with
permission.) 3. How often do you feel phony, inauthentic, or find
that it takes a lot of
effort to get people to perceive you in a certain way?
A. All the time
B. Occasionally
C. Almost never
D. Never 4.
If your friends, co-workers and family members were interviewed, would
they
say that you complain…
A. Seldom to never
B. Maybe once a day
C. Frequently
D. All the time (Note: this is part of Debbie Ford's self
sabotage quiz - used with permission.)
5. In the past 12 months,
how many times have you said something that you
later regretted, whether immediately
or over time?
A. None
B. Once or twice
C. More than five times
D. More than ten times
6. After you've achieved a personal goal
– reached your desired weight,
paid off your credit cards, organized
your home or office, etc. – which of the
following emotions are you more
likely to experience?
A. Relieved that you made it but wary that you may backslide
into old behaviors
B. Entitled – you deserve a reward for all your hard
work!
C. Motivated by your success and committed to keeping up the good work
D. Resentful that you had to work so hard in the first place (Note: this
is part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used with permission.)
7.
How often do you notice yourself feeling inadequate, not good enough,
unloved,
or unworthy?
A. All the time
B. Occasionally
C. Almost never
D.
Never
8. On a scale of 1-10, how willing are you to speak your
truth, even if it
runs contrary to the opinions of others?
A. 8-10; I
am very willing to speak my truth.
B. 5-7; Most of the time I am willing to
speak my truth.
C. 3-5; I am occasionally willing to speak my truth.
D.
1-2; I am almost never willing to speak my truth.
(Note: this is part
of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used with permission.) 9.
In your life right now, your primary focus is on…
A. Advancing your career,
improving your health, building wealth, or
deepening your relationships
B. Managing strained relationships or "putting out fires" at work and at
home.
C. Making measurable progress toward your goals over a reasonable
period of
time.
D. Trying to avert or avoid immediate disaster in the area of your
finances, relationships, health or career.
10. What percentage
of the time can you count on yourself to keep your
word and uphold your promises
– whether to yourself or to another?
A. Less than 10%
B. Less than
25%
C. About half the time
D. Most of the time
(Note: this is
part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used with permission.) 11.
How much time each day do you spend gossiping – whether talking
about
someone you know, reading tabloids or watching gossip TV?
A. None
B. Less
than one hour a day
C. More than one hour a day
D. More than three hours
a day
(Note: this is part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used
with permission.) 12. Which of the following statements would you
use to describe your life?
A. Most of the time, things work out fairly easily
for me.
B. I have many talents and gifts, but do not use them to their fullest
potential.
C. I am riddled by bad luck and find myself in one bad situation
after
another.
D. I have to work hard just to maintain the status quo.
(Note:
this is part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used with permission.) 13.
How many hours a day do you spend working toward your long-term
goals?
A. None
B. Less than twenty minutes per day
C. An hour or more per day
D. You have no long-term goals
14. How frequently do you feel
mistreated, misunderstood, or taken
advantage of – in either your personal
or professional life?
A. Every day
B. Frequently
C. Occasionally
D. Seldom to never
(Note: this is part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage
quiz - used with permission.) 15. When asked to do something that
you have no interest in doing, you are
most likely to…
A. Say no
with a clear conscience
B. Say no but feel guilty about it
C. Say yes
but not follow through
D. Say yes but feel resentful about it
16.
Imagine that your life is a house with many rooms. How many people
do you
allow to see all of your rooms?
A. Nobody
B. One significant person –
a spouse, lover, best friend, parent, etc.
C. A small handful of people know
me that well
D. There are many people in my life who know me that well
(Note:
this is part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used with permission.) 17.
When you feel hurt by someone or something, what do you tend to do?
A. Keep
it to yourself
B. Reflect, forgive, and move on
C. Confront the situation
head-on
D. Talk about it to everyone but the person involved
18.
When you get an impulse or an idea about how to improve some aspect
of your
life, you usually…
A. Ignore it completely
B. Take a few steps in
the right direction but rarely see the project
through to the finish line
C. Tell yourself that you'll "get to it one of these days"
D. Create a support
structure around yourself to ensure that you take
action.
(Note:
this is part of Debbie Ford's self sabotage quiz - used with permission.) 19.
The last time you found yourself with a block of unexpected free time,
what
did you do?
A. Squandered it by catalog shopping, watching TV or surfing the
internet
B. Used the opportunity to move forward on an important project
C. Relaxed and rejuvenated yourself by taking a nap, meditating or
reading
D. Your life is so hectic that you can't recall an occasion when you had
an
unexpected block of free time
(Note: this is part of Debbie Ford's self
sabotage quiz - used with permission.) 20. When you make a mistake,
are you more likely to…
A. Be gentle with yourself and resolve to do
things differently in the
future?
B. Put things in perspective by acknowledging
yourself for what you did
right?
C. Fall into a downward spiral of self-criticism?
D. Interpret your misstep as evidence that you are incompetent, and stop
trying?
And
now, "the scores on the doors"... Calculating Your Score:
Use the following key to determine how many
points you scored on each question,
then add up your total number of points.
| Question 1
A = 1; B = 3; C = 5, D = 8
Question 2
A = 1, B = 3, C = 5, D = 8
Question 3
A = 5, B
= 3, C = 1, D = 0
Question 4
A = 0, B = 1, C = 3, D = 5
Question 5
A = 0, B = 1, C = 3, D = 5
Question 6
A = 0, B
= 5, C = 0, D = 3
Question 7
A = 5, B = 3, C = 1, D = 0
Question 8
A = 0, B = 1, C = 3, D = 5
Question 9
A = 0, B
= 3, C = 0, D = 5
Question 10
A = 8, B = 5, C = 3, D = 1 |
Question 11
A = 0, B = 3, C = 5, D = 8
Question 12
A = 0,
B = 3, C = 5, D = 3
Question 13
A = 5, B = 3, C = 0, D = 5
Question 14
A = 5, B = 3, C = 1, D = 0
Question 15
A = 0, B =
3, C = 3, D = 5
Question 16
A = 5, B = 3, C = 1, D = 0
Question
17
A = 5, B = 0, C = 1, D = 5
Question 18
A = 5, B = 3, C = 3,
D = 0
Question 19
A = 5, B = 0, C = 0, D = 3
Question 20
A = 0, B = 0, C = 5, D = 5 |
And now,
what it all means... Assessment:
If you scored between
3 – 37 points: You are in the neutral zone, which
means that you
are free from many of the internal beliefs and wounds that
give rise to self-sabotaging
behaviors. You have high self-esteem, your
actions are closely aligned with
your values, and you are most likely making
great forward progress toward
your long-term goals. Keep on loving and
listening to yourself. If you
scored between 38 – 75 points: You may be keeping self-sabotage at
bay for the moment, but you are also using a lot of effort to repress and hide
parts of yourself and your life that you do not like. The energy you are using
to keep things from spinning out of control – whether at work, at home, or
with your health and well being – would be put to better use if it were
directed toward achieving your goals and desires. Read Why Good People
Do
Bad Things to find love and acceptance for the parts of yourself you
dislike.
Ultimately, self-love is the most effective antidote to self-sabotage. If
you scored between 76 – 112 points: You either spend a lot of time
and
energy trying to manage other people's opinions of you, or you are deeply
resigned about the conditions of your life. This reflects a build up of toxic
shame, which erodes your self-esteem and paralyzes you from taking
corrective
actions. If left unchecked, the internal chaos you are experiencing
may lead
you on a crash course for disaster. The good news, however, is
that every
act of self-sabotage presents an opportunity to awaken you to
what is truly
important. Read Why
Good People Do Bad Things ,
and you'll
begin to see how your deepest pain, when digested and understood,
is
designed to lead you to your greatest destiny.
END ----------------------------------------------------
Debbie Ford is author of Why
Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy Note:
download Debbie Ford's Self Sabotage
Quiz here! ( Right-click, and save to your desktop. PDF format requires Adobe
PDF reader.)
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