Do you have
(or know someone who has) an eating disorder?
One of the major issues
of our time is eating disorders, borne out of poor self image.
And this
affects teens or adolescents as much (if not more so) than any other age group.
Of
course, eating disorders are not the only self esteem issue - e.g. thinking you're
not good enough and dealing with loneliness are important topics also, as are
other causes of low self esteem in teenagers (and everyone else).
And these
other issues are discussed (briefly) too, with links to appropriate resources
if necessary.
Either our self-esteem is low and we just don't
know how we can improve it, or we've had good self esteem but every now and then
- bam! - down the self-esteem goes, and off we go into a familiar negative downward
spiral...
Maybe it's dealing with loneliness - that feeling, every
now and then, that nobody really understands us, or is 'there' for us. Or maybe
it's about not being 'popular' at work or with friends. Maybe one of the
self esteem issues we have is an eating disorder - we binge or starve ourselves,
because of some false self image or body
image. Or maybe it's even because, deep down, you just think you can't.
(By the way, you're wrong - you can! :-) )
The causes of low
self esteem are many, for sure. Self esteem issues can come begin at any point
in our lives, and could be due to nature OR nurture:
Nature - we might
have inherited a low self-esteem from our parents
Nurture - a
'bad thing' might have happened to us, that we have not yet recovered from
Nurture
- or maybe our parents didn't encourage us enough (because their parents did not
encourage them enough...)
Nurture - you might have been bullied
for being 'different' in some way, or less 'perfect' than everybody else, and
this has affected your self-belief
Whatever the causes of these self
esteem issues, there are no easy cures, but boosting
your self esteem is possible - you just have to want to do it! (And Amy Tan's
Fabulous
Self Esteem website is a good place to start!)
So, these things affect
us all, true, but this page on self esteem issues focusses on where it may all
appear to go wrong - I'm talking about adolescent self esteem aka 'self esteem
teens'. In particular, with regard to eating disorders - something that affects
both girls and boys, these days!
Perhaps if low
self esteem can be nipped in the bud in adolescence then all will be much
better with the world, regarding self esteem issues. (Though anyone suffering
from an eating disorder - whether teen or adult - will benefit from the article
below.)
Actually, I believe everyone can benefit from reading Mary's article
below that looks closely at self esteem in teenagers. Take it away, Mary, with
your look at self esteem issues facing teens and adolescents...
Self
Esteem Issues and Eating Disorders
Self esteem issues - what Mary Ferguson
from 1st-4-articles.com has to say...
Research has proven that one of the
major causes of low self esteem in teenagers is a negative body-image. Some teenagers
focus on perceived flaws in their appearance to such an extent that they isolate
themselves, withdrawing from social activities they once enjoyed. Many then try
to fight back through unhealthy eating habits -- and as a result, the number of
adolescents developing eating disorders is rising at an alarming rate.
Parents
may say to themselves, "Well, my child isn't overweight, so I have nothing to
worry about." But are you sure? Does your son spend far too much time on the elliptical
trainer? Does your daughter obsess about counting calories, or disappear to
the bathroom right after a meal? If so, there may be a problem -- and you need
to face it head on.
Let's call a spade a spade
Eating disorders
are classified by the medical community as real diseases. Nonetheless, among the
general public there's a misperception that these are behaviors that anyone can
control at will. This couldn't be further from the truth, and this belief is almost
as deadly as the diseases themselves. Friends and family can cause serious damage
to adolescent self esteem when they offer well-meaning advice such as:
"You
just need to use your willpower." "If you want to lose weight, don't eat so
much." "Stop eating when you're full. That's easy enough." "Come on, one
bite won't kill you." "Why won't you eat? What's the matter with you?"
"Oh my God, you're one of those anorexics!" "Just eat -- don't you realize
you're killing yourself?"
Someone with an eating
disorder needs to be treated with the same respect as someone with any
other disease. You wouldn't say to someone diagnosed with cancer, "Will you
stop obsessing over cancer, already? It's all in your head!" Keep this in mind
the next time you feel the need to give someone advice about how or what they
eat.
A number doesn't define who you are
So
many of us become obsessed with a number on a scale or a clothing tag that we
lose ourselves trying to become the number we feel is the acceptable norm. Over
50% of American women wear a size 14 or larger and the "average" size
woman weighs 150 pounds -- yes, really! The idea that everyone should be a certain
size is further influenced by the expectations forced upon us by television, advertising,
movies and the fashion industry, where the "in" look focuses on waif-thin actresses
and models.
How many little girls have to grow up thinking that shopping
for a plus
size prom dress is the end of the world, before this obsession with the perfect
size becomes a thing of the past? How many women will starve themselves with the
hope they can fit into their dream wedding dress or a sexy
special occasion dress that's two sizes too small for their body type? How
long do our kids have to keep dealing with loneliness by seeking solace in food
-- or by rejecting it altogether?
What causes eating
disorders?
While the causes of eating disorders aren't entirely clear,
it's believed that a combination of psychological, genetic, social and family
factors plays a huge role in who manifests them. Teenagers are under an enormous
amount of pressure these days, and they feel that they need to be perfect if they're
to succeed. In this kind of environment, self esteem issues are the order of the
day.
Many of these misperceptions of perfection are learned in their own
homes. If a child has parents who are constantly berating the way their own bodies
look, making fun of the way other people look, always going on the latest and
greatest diet -- or, worse yet, trying to put their children on diets -- it's
no wonder that feelings of low self esteem in teenagers can manifest as destructive
behavior.
Sadly, victims of diseases like bulimia, anorexia and compulsive
overeating are getting younger every day. In the past, such eating disorders were
associated almost exclusively with females; in the past few decades, however,
boys have become increasingly at risk. It's important to recognize that both genders
can and do suffer from these diseases.
How can
you help your teenager?
You can help your kids by recognizing the signs
of an eating disorder. Keep in mind that a person does not have to be "pencil
thin" to suffer from anorexia or bulimia. These diseases can be insidious,
but the symptoms are there if you're willing to look. For example, anorexia and
bulimia are often characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight -- so if
your teen is working out on a treadmill several times a day, you have reason to
be concerned. In addition, keep an eye out for the following symptoms:
Dramatic weight loss
Secretive eating patterns
Obsessive about
counting calories & fat content
Low blood pressure
Persistent
sore throat, toothaches (from purging)
Lack of a menstrual cycle
Overuse
of diet pills and/or laxatives
Mood swings and/or depression
Excessive
fatigue
The belief that food is one's "enemy"
Some
symptoms of compulsive overeating are obvious, but those that aren't include:
Depression
Secretive
eating patterns
Isolation from friends & activities
Excessive
sweating
Promiscuity
Chronic leg, back and joint pain
Severe
mood swings
Excessive fatigue, sleeping
The belief that food is
one's "friend"
More complete lists of the symptoms of both
classes of eating disorders can be found here Something-Fishy.org.
If your teen shows signs of these symptoms -- especially the obvious ones like
bingeing, purging, and dramatic weight gain or loss -- then you should get them
professional help immediately. Preferably with a medical professional or counselor
who specializes in eating disorders.
These diseases MUST be treated by medical
professionals; they can't just be "willed away." If you aren't sure whether a
person has a problem with eating disorders, talk to them about it while calmly
expressing your concern. Ask them to take this quiz for anorexia
and bulimia, and this one for compulsive
overeating. Both the associated sites, Bulimia.com and Overeaters Anonymous,
are excellent places to start looking for help.
A
Light at the End of the Tunnel
After all these years, the fashion industry
is finally starting to realize the effect they're having on self esteem in teenagers.
In January 2007, the Council of Fashion Designers of America released new recommendations
as part of an ongoing health initiative. Among other things, they urged that people
in the industry make an effort to educate themselves about the warning signs of
eating disorders, and to require models with proven eating disorders to get professional
help -- and not to allow them to work until their health professionals approve.
They also recommended that the industry develop workshops on the causes and effects
of eating disorders.
Meanwhile, Madrid Fashion Week banned models with a
Body Mass Index (BMI) of less than 18. According to the World Health Organization,
anyone with a BMI of less than 18.5 is underweight. (In other words, most fashion
models are skinnier than famine victims.) Italy followed Spain's lead, with restrictions
that no longer allow designers to hire models younger than sixteen. All models
are required to submit medical proof that they don't suffer from eating disorders.
Just
think -- the next generation of kids might not have to worry about the insanity
of stick-thin models influencing them into starving themselves to death, or
about meeting unnatural, unrealistic body image expectations. How wonderful it
would be to live in a world where people are happy with themselves just as they
are. Now that would be a little bit of Heaven on Earth – and don't we deserve
it?
Published with permission (FCDMInc)
Self
esteem issues - what YouTube says...
The Streets (Mike Skinner) - "Empty
Cans". There is no video to watch, but if you listen to the words of
this song - the last song on excellent story-album A Grand Don't Come for Free
- then I think you'll understand the highs and lows familiar to all of us who
want to blame anyone but ourselves for how our life is going. Maybe. I love this
song, and am glad I remembered to include it here! :-)
Warning!
There are swear words like 'f*ck' and 'c*nt' in this video. Mike Skinners words
are real, as is his 'pain'. I include this video as I believe it to be uplifting
- the message at the end, anyway - as well as the depressingly familiar (and unnecessary)
downward spiral in the first part of the song...
Self esteem issues - what these recommended
resources say...
Whether we're dealing with loneliness, or fearfulness
or simply lack of self-love, can we ever get enough of help when it comes to self
esteem issues? I'm not sure, but I've included these recommended resources just
in case. Enjoy...
'Failure' & Low Self Esteem Amy Tan's Fabulous
Self Esteem website offers lots of tips and information (and a free report
and video) on how to boost your self esteem. It looks at the causes of low self
esteem. It helps you "stop being a doormat". it looks at the issue of
failure and low self esteem.
More Low Self Esteem Signs? Sometimes
it's good to share. Sometimes sharing is the first step to healing. Sometimes.
So that's why I created this low self esteem
signs page - to help people share their own self esteem issues that they have
suffered from, or are suffering from now. Please feel free to contribute - you
get a free ebook about self-esteem affirmations for doing so! :-)
and 
