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This is... My Story!

Hmm, as I say on this about us page I don't really consider myself a success, particularly. (Though I have started to notice how much I have to be thankful, so that is a start... )

Still, I include my 'success story' (or self-help story) to just share with you how easy it is for us all to self-sabotage in this life, and how hard it can sometimes be to enjoy the simple things. Like eating pie & mash for tea!

I'm not fixed by any means (and I never will be) but I am much, much happier and more fulfilled thankyou very much!

And working on the SelfHelpCollective.com website has been a positive learning experience for me, too.

(The number of learned people who responded positively when I asked them for assistance with this website, both surprised (and encouraged) me, for example.)

And, I guess this inspirational Latin proverb will always be true:

"By learning you will teach;
by teaching you will understand."

Anyway...

"Blocked" - My Self Help Story!

My story - what I say...

I'll try and keep this brief. Basically, for reasons I still don't fully understand I got 'stuck' a few years ago - emotionally stuck.

My 'stuckness' happened after the ending of (yet another) long-term relationship, but I'm sure that there were more contributing factors than that.

The fact is I was 'stuck', whatever the reasons why.

Actually, I didn't know I was stuck at first. I just tried to forge new romantic relationships, more or less straight after this last break-up, but I was unable to. The women always ended up being 'wrong' for me - too fat (forgive my honest bluntness, here) or too keen, or not keen enough, or too beautiful or too plain or... Whatever the reason, it didn't take me long to find something wrong with the woman and, in less than a couple of months, it would be "Next!"

This sorry state of affairs (known as self-sabotage) lasted for several years - my inability to commit for fear of the consequences.

Sorry state? Well I guess I really wanted to be in a relationship - though, again, I'm not entirely sure whether my reasons for wanting this were altogether healthy ones. (All of my siblings were either married or in long-term relationships and I was the eldest - twelve years older than the youngest. I guess the need to conform, be normal, can be quite a powerful one!)

(This is my story.
I'd love to hear your story too!)

How I Got Unblocked...

So how did I get unstuck, then? What magic occurred that let me start to take risks again in a new relationship?

Well, I think it's a combination of things, though I am not absolutely sure:

1. Throughout the five years I was 'stuck' I was constantly trying to work out what was wrong; was reading self-help book after self-help book for guidance. Yes, I was working on myself, making small improvements in terms of personal insight and in terms of action taken.
   
   
2. I decided to take a big risk in another aspect of my life, first - my professional life. After twenty years of putting off writing a novel - to me, this represented a major life-achievement - I actually started writing it. I ended up working only part-time to make space for this writing - writing that lasted a whole year. And I finished what I started, despite the personal nature of my words and the continuing doubts about what I was writing.

I guess I started something important without worrying about whether I would fail or not...

(I'm not kidding,
I'd love to hear your story!)

Other things happened in 2007, too, to help my transformation from 'stuck man' to 'man willing to take risks in personal relationships' again, but I think starting to write my book was the main reason I got unstuck.

So does 'my story' have a happy ending? Did my book get published? Am I getting married soon?

Well, I got unstuck...

And I started (and finished) a project that I've been putting off for years (and I now have an appetite for more such BIG challenges).

So, yes, I think it's a happy ending - whether my book gets published or not, and whether or not my new relationship ends up being "the one". [It didn't, and it wasn't!] I believe that I've transformed myself into a 'can do' person, a man that can. Everything else is just details...

How I Got Unblocked... STORY END

That's it, that's my story. I'm sure it won't be appearing on YouTube too soon, but I feel better about myself than I ever have done. I have an appetite for life and, by definition, an appetite for risk. And it feels great.

(Ooops, I said I was going to keep this brief. D'oh!)

Thanks for reading.

Yours along the journey,
Steve

PS I've just updated my story, actually. Read more about my 'inspirational' story here!

PPS Even though 'my story' consumed much of my energies for 5 years or more, the truth is (if I'm being honest) nothing terrible happened to me, really. I was simply, and I quote a bit from my book here, "held back, emotionally, by irresistible forces - immovable objects, objecting to no one but [me]".

We all struggle when there's no need. So I urge you to share your story - your story of suffering or pf success! It will help you the sharer, for one thing, just as it will help us the reader. Sharing like this really is win-win...

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