My Low Self Esteem Signs
Low Self Esteem Signs (of which there are many)...
I fear talking in front of people in case they think that what I'm saying is boring or stupid. I think this stems from a best friend I had as a teen constantly overshadowing me and not listening to anything I had to say.
(This is the biggest problem in my life, actually, and I constantly believe people aren't listening to what I say, so simply don't talk in order to resolve this.)
I hate a lot of aspects of my personality. I let people walk all over me all the time. I avoid confrontations because I'm weak. I think I'm boring.
I have a boyfriend who I fear will leave me because of these bad personality traits I have.
I have a history of self-harming. I used to do it, not because I wanted to die, but because I wanted to punish myself for being such a terrible person. Luckily, I have stopped self-harming now however the feelings I experienced which led me to do it still remain.
I'm afraid I have fallen in to the trap of obsessively admiring and comparing myself to celebrities. I don't feel like I match any of them in looks or personality. I therefore constantly have feelings of inadequacy.
I hate the way I look. My nose, my thighs (and the rest of my legs), my boobs, my skin, my stomach, my hips, my calves, my feet...
I have big dreams for what I want to do in life but I'm afraid that with this low self-esteem I will never get there. I so desperately want to be in control but I can't seem to quite grasp it yet.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, R - it takes courage to even acknowledge these thoughts to yourself, let alone share them with the world. (Yes, you ARE a courageous woman!) As to other issues you mention, I thought I would point you (and anyone else reading this page) to relevant resources:
* Fear of public speaking - I recently joined Toastmasters, and found them a friendly, encouraging group of people all keen to learn how to speak in public and listen to others do the same. You might enjoy sharing, here, R
* Body image page - many people (women) are also comparing themselves to others, and doing so in an unflattering and unkind way
* Self hypnosis downloads page - self-hypnosis is a great way to reprogram the way you think, even about yourself. I've used hypnosis to deal with fear of commitment, and assertiveness so far. I find it very useful to think and feel thoughts that are kinder to me, so maybe you will too R...