My Low Self Esteem Signs 10
Feeling like my needs never mattered -- awful feeling, like I have no rights
I grew up in a big family and I was second to last in the line of children. My only sister was a year older than me and was extremely demanding and I always gave in to her needs because she would rant and rave and even hit me on many occasions.
All went well with us as long as things were going her way.
If I did disagree with her or didn't do something she expected me to do, it was "hell" for me. She was an aggressive person and would not think twice of hitting anybody that she thought should behave in a certain way. I realised later on in life that all she really craved was love and our mother was not able to show this to any of us.
I also always thought my sister was a stronger person than me, but I woke up to the realisation that I was actually the strong person and she was really a needy person. I only experienced self growth when she left my life.
As long as she stayed in my life, she would totally dominate.
She seemed to have this obsession with me but this was probably because nobody else in the family took any interest and I understood her pain but also battled to deal with it.
They were all scared of her aggression and totally domineering nature.
Whoa!! I have just realised how long this story could go on for but I am stopping now as the feelings are still around and I have worked on myself to forgive us both and still am working on letting go of it all.