My Husband And I
What do I do with my husband who is so impulsive when it comes to spending money. He buys things without thinking, then blames me when it doesn't work out. When I challenge him, he just screams at me. I'm at a loss as to what to do now, but it's completely exasperating?...
"Relationships Q&A with You, Me and Paula Renaye"
QUESTION: How can I best deal with my impulsive husband?
My husband makes bad decisions when it comes to money. He will buy any thing from any body.
We have a business in the city but he insisted on moving 1 1/2 hour away from work. We spent months driving to houses and land. Some of the were 2 hrs away. He fought with me until I signed a contract with him for a dump house in the middle of nowhere. A week after we signed he decided he did not want the house. We barely got out of it.
He insisted on moving and buying a house right before the market was about to go down. I asked him to wait just a little while so we could get a better price. He refused. I gave up because he gets mad and screams
and blames me if I do not agree with him.
We bought a house we did not want because he insisted we find a house within 2 months. We paid about $20,000 more for the house than it is worth now and more than it was worth then.
Soon after that he insisted on buying another house because he did not like the house. Now he wants to sell the first house and he hired a contractor to do about $15,000 in work to the house so we can sell it. The work did not make the house worth more because of the neighborhood.He bought a security system we do not need twice
. I had to let them come and put it in. Two days later he did not like the way it worked and blamed he for ruining his night because I had to call and cancel it. He does this with everything.
He wanted to build a house on a property that would have cost $100,000 just to clear the land with a contracting company that is well known as a fly by night company. He screamed at me when I refused saying I ruined his life.
He wanted to find a real estate agent to sell the house so I found a few. We made an appointment with one but he did not show up. I told him that is a red flag. He will not be a good agent. He insisted on getting this agent and making another appointment. We have another agent that is really good and motivated. He will not agree with me to get her because she sells high end properties and he thinks she will not pay attention to our house.I have tried many times to talk to him
about this. But he when I bring up any of the things he is doing or has done he denies that any of it is a mistake or bad decision. He will change the subject or blame me. When I told him we should get another realtor. He said it was my fault he didn't show up. He screams at me that it was me that picked him. When he wanted to buy a house 1 1/2 hr. away he said that I ruined everything for him so I agreed. Then when he realized it was a bad decision he said I made the decision not him
even though he bullied me into agreeing with him. He usually bullies me into doing what he wants then lies and says it was what I wanted and blames me. If I tell him that is a lie he just screams at me.Please tell me what I can do
. There are many other things like this he does. Any help would be appreciated
STEVE'S ANSWER"There really is no difference between the bully and the victim."
-- Lady Gaga
I don't really have an answer for you, Anon, other than for you to re-read your question, so you can see the full extent of the 'problem'.
I will ask you this question, though. How do you think this situation is going to change? Do you really think it will be your husband who changes?
I wish you well with this difficult situation you find yourself in...
NOTE: I've created a relationships ebook called "Top 10 Relationship Questions... Answered" that aims to help anyone in a romantic relationship - whether it's to start/end a relationship, or to learn how to trust in a relationship, or even how to deal with a controlling relationship.
And the answers in the ebook I provide (based on questions asked in the Relationship Advice Forum) help you find your answers, in your own unique relationships. I recommend it, but then I would say that wouldn't I! Find out more here...
(Dec 1st, 2015)