"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)


My Fear of Intimacy

by Steve M Nash
(Yorkshire, England)

These Shades Help My Fear of Intimacy! I think...

These Shades Help My Fear of Intimacy! I think...

Another way to describe this intimate fear is via the following oh-so-clever expression:

"Into me, see."

Do you get it? It's about not letting people look into you.

Yep, that's what one of the top 10 fears - fear of emotional intimacy - is all about. But does this fear really exist? Are we not all open and available to be read, to be listened to - our deepest thoughts, fears and hopes exposed?

Well... sometimes!

I think fear of intimacy is real but it's not just about being closed and hidden, emotionally - it's far more subtle than that. It's about revealing as much of yourself as you feel comfortable (and aware) to do, and then hiding everything else!

So I reckon that we all suffer from this intimate fear (aren't all fears intimate?).

I guess some of us more so than others.

I guess men more so than women. (And this free guide from HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com helps women get a man to want to get close to them. Should these women be bothered, of course! ;-) )

Maybe. It's all about comfort zones, really. For example, I'm one of the most open individuals I know. I can tell you what I dream of, who I fancy (even if it's you), what I'm frightened of (again, even if that 'what' is you). I consider this 'openness' a strength, but it hides an oh-so-subtle weakness, too - I'm still frightened of intimacy, and I am probably not as open as I believe myself to be!

Somewhere, somehow, somewhy... my fear of intimacy lingers. And don't ask me where, or how or why as I don't know - it just reveals itself, right now, in my seeming inability to form a long-term and lasting deep-and-meanginful relationship with a significant other.

(Can you see why overcoming fear of intimacy is so difficult?)

Hmm, but enough about me, and my somewhat confused thoughts! (I'm sure you must know enough about me by now, eh! ;-) ) In short, we all suffer from fear of emotional intimacy - some more so than others - but most of the time this fear sneaks up on us unawares.

So... be on your guard!

And look out for the telltale signs, which are... (read what Dr. Nick Arrizza has to say at the Self Help Collective

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Apr 12, 2011
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Yes
by: Andy

I know what you mean there - I guess we just gotta keep believing in ourselves and be happy and trust that the Universe will send the right people at the right time.

Jun 15, 2010
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Your Fear of Intimacy
by: Gabriele

Steve couldn't have explained it any better. Or lets say that a person with fear of intimacy couldn't have opened up better. Everything said by Steve makes sense for those who analyze themselves in this respect.

Jun 14, 2010
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Take off the shades, Steve...
by: Anon

We won't bite ya! ;-)

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