"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)


My BF is Angrier

by Terrie
(Bakers Mills, NY USA)

In general, my BF (boyfriend) is very angry and explosive when too much goes wrong. He has taught me something no one has ever been able to teach me - how to shut my mouth.


You just don't jump into one of his angry escapades.

Sometimes things go flying across the room. You don't try to passify him either - you just have to let him go.

Now, I was angry in the same way (once) but I put my improvement on handling myself down to maturity.

I was only angry like that til I hit my 40s. I stopped throwing things when I was in my 30s. I stopped freaking out in people's faces in my 20s.

So where does that leave my BF?

He really is a pi*ser but I love him. And I do value the lesson in shutting up. My mother says to tell him she says thank you.

Terrie


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Jul 12, 2011
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My experience
by: Sandy

I udnerstand these type of reactions. At one time I worked personally with people who had these issues. Timing is everything with them. It is a wonderful thing when a person becomes "aware" and objective regarding their own behavior and its impact.

May I ask a question about your training? Have you explored "I-messages" in your anger training?If not, you could find it useful.

For those reading who are not familiar with this process. Using I messages is a technque you can use to express how another's behavior makes you feel without alienating them.

e.g. Mary when you throw shoes at me, I feel hurt. What I want is for you to tell me what is bothering you.

Timing and approach is everything with this strategy.

Congratulations on your training.

Jul 12, 2011
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Your BF
by: Steve

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, in your anger management story. It's really interesting that you see yourself like your BF - or you used to do, used to be this angry.

Wonder why 'maturity' hasn't helped him, though?

Thanks again,
Steve

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