I really would like it if people would just mind their bl**dy business! I mean, why do people want to know SOOO stuff much about you, eh, what difference is it gonna make if they know what I feel, who I love, and what I feel about who I love?...
Seriously - and I do like to take life, seriously, after all - I'm joking here. I'm joking about intimacy, because I actually think experiencing intimacy with someone is a beautiful way to connect with another human being.
And I'm obviously not even talking about sex, here!
I'm talking about connecting with another human being - a friend, a sibling, a lover, even the stranger on the street that catches your eye!
Fear of intimacy really is a blight on all of society, as much as it's a blight on those (nearly all of us) that suffer from it.
You don't express yourself fully with another
You don't express yourself fully with yourself
Yes, that last point is probably the worst aspect of shying away from intimacy: we can't even admit to ourselves, sometimes, our true feelings.
Well, I always have examples for you (those few that read my online Monthly Marvels, read all the words), and they're usually about me, usually about romance.
So my example is this: not being able to love someone fully (admit to myself that "I LOVE YOU, RUTH, unconditionally!") because I'm not sure if she loves me, wants to be with me.
So when fear rears its ugly head, I choose to act on it (rather than act on love) and I question whether I really do love this woman, etc.
I close down a little.
I love less.
Which doesn't feel nice, to me or to the woman I love.
The alternative? Accept my love, and fully feel it - act on love - and understand that real love needs no conditions to be met.
Again, this is all going on in my head, this is all about how intimate I can allow myself to be with my true feelings.
If I can't even be intimate with myself, what chance of being intimate with others?
Anyway, I've talked enough. I've got no answers here, other than to keep remembering to act on love, not fear.
Check out the video below for further thoughts on Gary Shandling's humorous quip on intimacy...
What's New at SelfHelpCollective.com
Well, I'm still updating the site, 5 or so pages at a time, but not making major changes as I do. So, this month, I thought I'd share with you the sincere request from a single guy, who wants to know the answer to this question: