This is how many people think when it comes to self-confidence, anyway - feel good in your own body! I explain more below:
It's just our thinking about confidence - what it looks like in others, how it's supposed to look like in us - that gets in the way!
And the more you realise this, and stop trying to be confident (stop trying to look how a confident man or confident woman is supposed to look), and just be yourself - fully expressed - then the more you will 'boost your self confidence'
As ever, I'm always interested in your experiences of confidence: whether you believe you still suffer from low self-confidence, or whether you'd like to share how you 'boosted your self-confidence' - sometimes it really is just good to talk!
These aren't really self-confidence tips, I know, but they are 'truths' about self-confidence, nevertheless. What do you think? Do they sound true to you, or do you still want to believe that there's some 'magic' tip or technique you need to learn to be confident; that there's some genetic trait that you weren't born with that means you lack confidence.
It just isn't so.
Let me try and explain...
I've always thought of self-confidence as arbitrary! That is, people who are self-confident have no more reason to be self-confident than those who are low in self confidence - they just are confident!
And that is all that matters, really, when it comes to confidence - being confident.
You can always justify feeling good about yourself (or bad about yourself) if you try hard enough - it's called having a positive attitude (or not). So, for example, my very first girlfriend told me I was a good kisser, so that's what I believe and have believed ever since, despite the evidence to the contrary sometimes !
I've always thought confidence was arbitrary, because - funnily enough! - I've always suffered from low self confidence!
Yes, I have had my moments of being confident but they have been all too fleeting, until recently - meaning: I ignored those times when I was confident, and just focussed on those times when I felt I lacked confidence.
Now, I just want to be confident - I like how it feels inside of me; I like how people respond to me; and I like meeting other self-confident people too: it's no longer intimidating.
And remember, self-confidence is not about being better than someone else, it's about feeling good about yourself. And, as this self-confidence quote says:
"Too many people overvalue what they are not
and undervalue what they are."
-- Malcolm S. Forbes
So, improving self confidence really comes from understanding that you already are confident - you just think that you're not...
And I shall share more of this understanding, over time, in my newsletter - why not subscribe, and join the conversation!
NOTE: this understanding of where low self confidence comes from came clear to me AFTER I recorded the video below...
How to boost self confidence? You could do a whole lot worse than check out this self confidence recommend resource...