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Listening skills? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? :-)   

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Listening Skills

What Let Think Us You Know!

(Oops. That's not what I wanted to say! :-) )

Actually, would you please...
Let us know what you think
! (Thanks.)

Listening is very important when it comes to communicating clearly...

And I should know, because my inability to listen properly has got me into a lot of trouble over the years! Oops. So *I* shall be coming back to this page often to study careful what Peter Murphy has to say about one of the most basic of communication skills: listening.

And this is what Peter has to say, in summary: good listening is vital for effective communication skills and it consists of learning to paraphrase, getting clarification where necessary, being aware of body language, being quick to respond, being patient as a listener, understanding nonverbal communication, and more...

I'll talk about all of these tips below. Amd you can read Peter's full aritcle below that.




Listening skills - what I say...

Okay, firstly I have to say hats off to Peter Murphy - this is one of the best self-help articles on this site, in my humble opinion anyway. Perhaps this is because my listening skills are not so great, I couldn't possibly comment, but Peter really does show you how to improve one of the basic communication skills: that of listening.

And to see how bad I am as a listener, I'm going to comment directly on a few of Peter's tips:

1. Practice to Paraphrase.
I don't do this much, but it's a simple thing (I hope) to help my day-to-day communications with all those fortunate enough to have to communicate with me. Lol

3. Give effective feedback
In other words respond to what the person is saying - it kinda proves that you were listening. Thankfully, I do this. (Do you?)

4. Always be aware of body language.
Hmm, that body language stuff is pretty tricky to me. Good job I'm going to learn about it via this website. (Coming soon.)

5. Focus on the speaker
Again, this should go without saying. If you're checking out other (more interesting?) people whilst listening to someone it's not too clever. You know that. So do I. Let's both agree to stop doing it then, shall we? :-)

8. Empathize
Again, if you actually care about what the person is saying it's going to improve your ability to listen. Put yourself in their shoes. And do this often.

10. Avoid cutting off before they have finished speaking.
Ah, mea culpa - as they say in Latin. It means that I make this mistake far too often. It's rude. It's impatient. And it's just bad listening.

--

So how did you get on with Peter's tips - read his article below for full details? Or why not contact me about your own listening skills (or lack of them) - thanks.

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And here, by the magic of YouTube, we have an example of good listening in action - and an interesting dilemma...

 

Okay, over to you Peter...




11 Unusual Tips for Great Listening Skills

Listening skills - what Peter Murphy has to say...

Would you like to improve your listening skills when you communicate? The life blood of a relationship and the foundation of all human interaction is communication. One must have listening skills to be able to communicate. For communication to be effective, you must have understanding, honesty, kindness, and respect. Active listening is a vital part of good communication. Most communication experts recommend the following traits to be a good listener.

  1. Practice to Paraphrase. It is a good way to show that you have really listened. When there is a natural pause in the conversation, restate briefly what you heard by rephrasing in your own words. Then ask if this is correct.

  2. Whenever it is needed, always clarify. Ask questions and clarification on anything said that you do not quite understand. Make sure you understand clearly before you react to what has been said.


  3. Give effective feedback but be careful in doing so. Feedback consists of telling what your reaction is to what has been said. You should clearly state that your feedback is based on your understanding of what was heard. The feedback must be immediate, honest, and must not be attacking but supportive.

  4. Always be aware of body language. Communication can be visual. You're receiving not only words but, most importantly, you're receiving body language and tone. Most often body language prevails over words. Learn to listen with empathy, openness and awareness. Nod your head occasionally as you listen to your partner and maintain eye contact to show interest in what they are saying. If you sense a discrepancy between what is being said and what you see, ask for clarification.

  5. Concentrate. Focus on the speaker, avoid negative distraction by choosing positive approach that speaks on the issue and against the person. Anyone can tell whether they have your interest and attention by the way you reply. Maintain eye contact.

  6. Acknowledge through body language by occasionally nodding or saying uh-huh. Acknowledgment through body language does not interrupt but encourages more insights to flow. Oftentimes it is one way of conveying that you are attentive and trying to understand every word the other one is trying to say, without our interrupting the flow of his/her mind.

  7. Be quick to respond. Too long a period of silence after the other one has spoken might give a wrong message that you have not been listening. Ask, clarify if you have not clearly understood. This would show sincerity.

  8. Empathize, share in their emotions and feelings. A good listener feels what the other person is talking about and it shows. Facial expressions and body language can not lie and it often gives us away. Our mouth speaks what is in our hearts.

  9. Listen patiently. We often think faster than they speak. Sometimes it is due to limited vocabulary and experience in talking, especially with children. Listen as though you have plenty of time.

  10. Avoid cutting off before they have finished speaking. It is easy to form an opinion or reject another point of view before others have finished what they have to say. It may be difficult to listen respectfully and not correct misconceptions, but respect their right to have and express their opinions.

  11. Master the art of reading non-verbal communication. It is a must for listening skills. Many messages are communicated nonverbally by the tone of voice, facial expressions, energy level, posture, or changes in behavior patterns. You can often tell more from the way one says something than from what is said.

Listening is an art, it is the bridge to understanding. When we are listened to, it molds us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life when we have good listening skills.

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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/11-unusual-tips-for-great-listening-skills-184759.html

About the Author:

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters




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