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Listening is
very important when it comes to communicating clearly... And I should
know, because my inability to listen properly has got me into a lot of trouble
over the years! Oops. So *I* shall be coming back to this page often
to study careful what Peter Murphy has to say about one of the most basic of communication
skills: listening. And this is what Peter has to say, in summary:
Good
listening is vital for effective
communication skills and it consists of learning to paraphrase, getting clarification
where necessary, being aware of body language, being quick to respond, being patient
as a listener, understanding verbal and nonverbal communication, and more... I'll
talk about all of these tips below. And you can read Peter's full article after
that.
Listening skills - what I say...
Okay,
firstly I have to say hats off to Peter Murphy - I think that this is one of the best self-help articles on the Self Help Collective site, in my humble opinion anyway. Perhaps this
is because my listening skills are not so great, I couldn't possibly comment,
but Peter really does show you how to improve one of the basic communication skills:
that of listening.
And to see how bad I am as a listener - but illustrate one art of good listening, that of repeating what the other person has said! - I'm going to comment
directly on a few of Peter's tips:
1. Practice to Paraphrase.
I don't do this much, but it's a simple thing (I hope) to help my day-to-day communications
with all those fortunate enough to have to communicate with me. :-)
3.
Give effective feedback
In other words respond to what the person is saying
- it kinda proves that you were listening. Thankfully, I do this. (Do you?) 4.
Always be aware of body language.
Hmm, that
body language stuff is pretty tricky to me. Good job I'm going to learn about
it via this website. 5. Focus on the speaker
Again, this should
go without saying. If you're checking out other (more interesting?) people whilst
listening to someone it's not too clever. You know that. So do I. Let's both agree
to stop doing it then, shall we? :-) 8. Empathize
Again, if you
actually care about what the person is saying it's going to improve your ability
to listen. Put yourself in their shoes. And do this often. 10. Avoid
cutting off before they have finished speaking.
Ah, mea culpa
- as they say in Latin. It means that I make this mistake far too often. It's
rude. It's impatient. And it's just bad listening. --
So how did you
get on with Peter's tips? Read his article below for full details! Or why not contact me about your own skills at listening
(or lack of them) - thanks.
Okay, over to you Peter... 11
Unusual Tips for Great Listening SkillsListening skills - what Peter
Murphy has to say...
Would you like to improve your listening
skills when you communicate? The life blood of a relationship and the foundation
of all human interaction is communication. One must have listening skills to be
able to communicate. For communication to be effective, you must have understanding,
honesty, kindness, and respect. Active listening is a vital part of good communication.
Most communication experts recommend the following traits to be a good listener.
- Practice to Paraphrase. It is a good way to show that you have really
listened. When there is a natural pause in the conversation, restate briefly what
you heard by rephrasing in your own words. Then ask if this is correct.
- Whenever it is needed, always clarify. Ask questions and clarification
on anything said that you do not quite understand. Make sure you understand clearly
before you react to what has been said.
- Give effective
feedback but be careful in doing so. Feedback consists of telling what your
reaction is to what has been said. You should clearly state that your feedback
is based on your understanding of what was heard. The feedback must be immediate,
honest, and must not be attacking but supportive.
- Always
be aware of body language. Communication can be visual. You're receiving not
only words but, most importantly, you're receiving body language and tone. Most
often body language prevails over words. Learn to listen with empathy, openness
and awareness. Nod your head occasionally as you listen to your partner and maintain
eye contact to show interest in what they are saying. If you sense a discrepancy
between what is being said and what you see, ask for clarification.
- Concentrate.
Focus on the speaker, avoid negative distraction by choosing positive approach
that speaks on the issue and against the person. Anyone can tell whether they
have your interest and attention by the way you reply. Maintain eye contact.
- Acknowledge through body language by occasionally nodding
or saying uh-huh. Acknowledgment through body language does not interrupt but
encourages more insights to flow. Oftentimes it is one way of conveying that you
are attentive and trying to understand every word the other one is trying to say,
without our interrupting the flow of his/her mind.
- Be quick
to respond. Too long a period of silence after the other one has spoken might
give a wrong message that you have not been listening. Ask, clarify if you have
not clearly understood. This would show sincerity.
- Empathize,
share in their emotions and feelings. A good listener feels what the other person
is talking about and it shows. Facial expressions and body language can not lie
and it often gives us away. Our mouth speaks what is in our hearts.
-
Listen patiently. We often think faster than they speak. Sometimes it is due
to limited vocabulary and experience in talking, especially with children. Listen
as though you have plenty of time.
- Avoid cutting off before
they have finished speaking. It is easy to form an opinion or reject another
point of view before others have finished what they have to say. It may be difficult
to listen respectfully and not correct misconceptions, but respect their right
to have and express their opinions.
- Master the art of reading
non-verbal communication. It is a must for listening skills. Many messages
are communicated nonverbally by the tone of voice, facial expressions, energy
level, posture, or changes in behavior patterns. You can often tell more from
the way one says something than from what is said.
Listening is an
art, it is the bridge to understanding. When we are listened to, it molds us,
makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to
life when we have good listening skills. ---------------------------------------------------- Article
Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/11-unusual-tips-for-great-listening-skills-184759.html Peter
Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free
report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available only at: conversation
starters
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