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I Feel Damaged

by Anon
(Ireland)

My symptoms of self esteem in 1 word: "damaged"

I see my self esteem as damaged by life and also the choices I have made and sometimes still do make. It feels like a bit of a battle really to make the right choices.

For me low self esteem is when I feel false and am not able to open up to to others and let them see what is really going on for me because maybe I am embarrassed. I don't handle rejection well. At times calmness seems impossible despite wanting it desparately.

To the outside world I think I seem competent but inside I feel damaged.

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I Feel Damaged

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Feb 10, 2012

Damage
by: Anonymous

Your post has summed up the way that I feel.

I have a good life, always have done, relative to what others have had to suffer, but my self esteem is so very low. I used to self harm as a teenager, I thought I had moved on from that, until at the age of 34, with a home, a great job and a loving supporting partner who wanted to marry me, it all came crashing down.

I broke off my relationship, I wanted to leave my job and just run away. I knew early on this was about having low self esteem. If the love and support of a kind, caring, supportive partner isn't enough, what will ever be?

The simple fact is, I don't believe that I am worth loving, or indeed worth anything at all. And because I've generally had a good life, I feel ashamed for letting such small things affect me so much. I feel weak and pathetic, and unable to understand why I am so poorly equipped for life.

I'm having counselling and I hope to really move on from this, I'm just so sorry to have hurt people along the way who had done nothing wrong except try to love me.

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I Feel Damaged

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I Feel Damaged