High Self Esteem or
Healthy Self-Esteem?

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How high is healthy? :-)

Did you know that there's a difference between a healthy self esteem and an unhealthy high self-esteem?

Well, it's true. And, strangely, it seems an unhealthy high self-esteem has many of the symptoms of low self esteem.

So I talk about my understanding of this issue too, and also share a video about positive self-esteem.

Read on, to find out more... (and, of course, please feel free to share your views on this subject!)

The Problem With High Self-esteem

What I say...

A couple of questions for you, about self-esteem:

Do you have an unhealthy self-esteem?
Well, look out for self-worthiness, narcissism, and feelings of superiority.

Or...

Do you have a balanced self esteem?
Well, look out for feelings of contentment within yourself and towards others - whoever these others are!

Do you understand this distinction?

Funnily enough, until recently, I never believed in the notion of an unhealthy high self esteem. I thought that there was low self esteem - unhealthy, not helpful to you nor to the people in your life - and high positive self esteem. And that's it. But it turns out that some people's self-esteem can be high in an unhealthy way.

So what happened recently to make me aware of this so-called unhealthy variety of self esteem. Well, let's just say that I met someone who displayed many of the so-called symptoms of high self-esteem, namely:

An individual who felt superior, and who also displayed
Patronizing behaviour patterns

Message to that person (who shall remain unnamed):

"People with healthy self-esteem do not feel superior to others and do not get irritated if someone is less capable then they are!"

(There, that's told them! Hee hee.)

In fact, on the contrary, I suggest that if you have a healthy self esteem it means you most probably recognise qualities (and strengths) in others that these people themselves do not recognise. So...

High self esteem should be enabling. It should empower you,
and it should empower the people you come into contact with, too!

That's what I say, anyway. (And maybe we could all do with testing our self-esteem, just to make sure, using the highly regarded The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale. Maybe.)

So that means that a healthy high self esteem does NOT mean

indulging in drugs binges,
having to prove yourself,
being in denial,
being prone to road rage or violence...

It doesn't mean anything bad, actually.

Those are my thoughts, anyway, right this moment (19th February, 2009 @ 09:12GMT) about high self-esteem. (NOTE: at time of re-writing - 7th December, 2011 - I much less offended by this person. Which is nice!...)

And if you'd asked me what I thought at 09:00GMT I would have been less clear - other than knowing I had a feeling of irritation (oh oh!) in relation to a certain, unnamed friend.

But I'm happy with my instant definition of this high form of self esteem. And you? What do you think about this issue? Please let me know! :-)

High self esteem - what YOU (and YouTube) say...

Maybe, just maybe you don't like this negative impression of positive self esteem. Maybe you think a healthy self esteem IS a high self-esteem, a bit like what this YouTube video believes...