"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)

Going Back or Moving On?

by Carla

My marriage has never been a good one - my husband was 'neglectful' - and I stayed until our youngest was 18. But now, some years later, I'm conflicted as to whether to go back with my husband (and family) or start a new relationship with a man I feel compatible with. Help me?...

"Relationships Q&A with You, Me and Paula Renaye"

QUESTION: Should I Get Back With My Husband?...

MORE FROM Carla...

I have been married many years to someone who was very neglectful, a workaholic, and secretive about money. I stayed until the youngest of our children was 18, then my misery drove me to leave.

I spent a year on my own, trying to work out who I was by myself, but our children have largely taken his part and drifted away from me. I find myself getting more and more anxious and depressed.

Last year, I went overseas for a while and met someone who I consider a very good friend. He however, has confessed he would like to start a romantic relationship with me, and I am tempted, because I feel we are very compatible, and it has been a long time since I have felt in love.

I have not been able to bring myself to divorce my husband though. I rationalise this as me not wanting to disconnect myself from my children even more, but I wonder if I have unresolved feelings.

My husband and I have been talking about me going back to him - he says he has changed, and is willing to try harder. I am not sure - I know that if this is successful, we can have family Christmasses and birthdays etc together, which I really miss.

I don't feel my choice is which has more to offer - I believe either choice has good things. I feel it is more like I have to decide which to do without - love or my children.

I have to choose one way, and soon. I can't keep two men dangling like this.

Does anyone have any advice?


Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Your Relationship Q&As.