"The best
famous quotes and quotations I could find in the last half-hour!"
And,
if you want to get the most out of these funny inspirational quotations...
...I
politely suggest that you readall of the quotations at least SEVEN
times!
(Yes, this is definitely one of those times when more is more
- you can never laugh too often, can you?)
And remember, an inspirational
quote a day keeps the doctor away!.
(Or something like that.)
As
ever, these free inspirational quotes and sayings are hand-picked (by me) - thousands
of funny inspirational quotes were not funny or inspirational and some of them
weren't even quotations.
Tch! Enough of my attempts at comedy. Enjoy...
Funny Quotations - Free Inspirational Quotes
Funny inspirational
quotes - what they say...
The business of 'funny quotes' - tell me what you think!
"Put your
hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty
girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."
-- Albert Einstein
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a
living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." -- Mark
Twain
"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion
that it has taken place." -- George Bernard Shaw
"A person without a
sense of humor is like a wagon without springs -- jolted by every pebble in the
road." -- Henry Ward Beecher
"When I look back on all
these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that
he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened."
-- Winston Churchill
"Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with
a few nuts." -- Author Unknown
"What you do speaks
so loud that I cannot hear what you say." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die." -- David Rosam
"The reason so few people are
successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill."
-- W. Clement Stone
(Yep, this is an inspirational quote about success.)
"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway."
-- Ahmad
Funny inspirational quotes - what they
still say...
MORE funny inspirational quotes and a quickie from YouTube
(I love the quote from Erica Jong that says, "Advice is what we ask for
when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.")...
"I wish people who have trouble communicating
would just shut up." -- Tom Lehrer
"The future
is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever
he does, whoever [s]he is." -- C.S. Lewis
"I had the
blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet." -- Denis Waitley
"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."
-- Gladys Berthe Stern
"I
believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"Lots of people want to ride with you in
the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the
limo breaks down." -- Oprah Winfrey
"If love is
blind, why is lingerie so popular?" -- Unknown
"If
at first you don't succeed, think how many people you've made happy."
-- H. Duane Black
"Don't wait for a light to appear at the end
of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself."
-- Sara Henderson
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others
whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
