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Funny Inspirational QuotesHome
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"The best famous quotes and quotations I could find in the last half-hour!" And, if you want to get the most out of these funny inspirational quotations... ...I politely suggest that you read all of the quotations at least SEVEN times! (Yes, this is definitely one of those times when more is more - you can never laugh too often, can you?) And remember, an inspirational quote a day keeps the doctor away!. (Or something like that.) As ever, these free inspirational quotes and sayings are hand-picked (by me) - thousands of funny inspirational quotes were not funny or inspirational and some of them weren't even quotations. Tch! Enough of my attempts at comedy. Enjoy... Funny Quotations - Free Inspirational QuotesFunny inspirational quotes - what they say...The business of 'funny quotes' - tell me what you think! "Put your
hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty
girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity." "Don't go around saying the world owes you a
living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion
that it has taken place." "Reality
is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." (Albert, now you're just showing off!) "I am not afraid
of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...
well, I have others." (I think this sums up the philosophy of the Self Help Collective nicely! ;-) Thanks, Groucho.) "A person without a
sense of humor is like a wagon without springs -- jolted by every pebble in the
road." "When I look back on all
these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that
he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened." "Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with
a few nuts." "What you do speaks
so loud that I cannot hear what you say." "Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die." "The reason so few people are
successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill."
"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway." (If all this laughter and fun is not serious enough for you, then please visit our inspirational sports quotes or our motivation quotes, I guess, or even our page on success! :-O ) Funny inspirational quotes - what they still say...MORE funny inspirational quotes and a quickie from YouTube (I love the quote from Erica Jong that says, "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.")...
"The future
is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever
he does, whoever [s]he is." "I had the
blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet."
"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."
(Bravo! Are you grateful for anything?Well, why not share it with the world, then!) "I
believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it." "Lots of people want to ride with you in
the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the
limo breaks down." "If love is
blind, why is lingerie so popular?" "If
at first you don't succeed, think how many people you've made happy." "Don't wait for a light to appear at the end
of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself." "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others
whenever they go." (Hee hee. How about you? What causes you to be happy?) "Money
is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." "I find television very educational. Every time someone turns
it on, I go in the other room and read a book." "A
smile confuses an approaching frown." "Patience
is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead."
"A smile is an inexpensive way to change
your looks." (Ooh, Charles, with funny inspirational quotes like that you belong on our self-esteem page too!) "You can learn many things from children. How much patience
you have, for instance." "There
has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened." "Here is the test to find whether your mission
on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't." "Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet."
"The greatest thief this world ever produced
is procrastination, and he is still at large." "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't
matter." "Success is simply a matter
of luck. Ask any failure." "Love is the
answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting
questions." (Could Woody's words be your favourite quotation here? Do let me know!) Funny inspirational quotes - what these recommended resources say...MORE funny inspirational quotes? Well... Maybe you can find more inspiration from these funny sms messages or these funny inspirational quotes or these funny comedian quotes? Still want more laughter? Well how about checking out A Long Weight below, provided courtesy of Silly Jokes :-) Return
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