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Today's lesson, girls and boys, is all about... |
Apparently, "people have only two natural fears at birth — the fear of falling and fear of loud noise" (this is according to Edward Hope who talks about fear of public speaking here!) However Bryce Roadley, in his article about overcoming fear, slightly disagrees. He thinks there's a third natural fear: "The only types of fear that one is born with are - fear of falling - fear of loud sounds - fear of abandonment."
Still, whether Edward is right or Bryce is right, it does look like most of our fears are learned. And the following fear quotation sums it up nicely:
"A
child does not have to be taught how to be happy or the ways of love. It
is
fear, hatred, and prejudice that have to be taught. And from the condition
of
the world we can see that unfortunately there are some very good teachers."
--
Javan
Now, like you maybe, I don't know much else about the ins and the outs of that 4-letter word called fear! I'm not an expert on what causes fear or the types of fear that exists out there (or in here!). And I'm not even that clever at overcoming fear - though you do have to take action and to face your fears.
I am an expert, though - a real-life expert, no less - on 'suffering' from fear, and on my life being limited by ol' Freddy Four-Letters!
So I've been looking forward to writing these pages for quite some time.
And, hopefully like you'll experience when you read the pages, I've been learning lots as I write them.
And the shocking thing about our fears, then - especially our deepest fears - is that they were all more-or-less learned when we were too young to know any better (and far, far too young to be put in charge of our adult responses for the next 50 years).
Well it shocks, even horrifies, me that some of my instinctive responses to intimacy, failure, rejection etc. were formed when I was a very young, very impressionable little boy just trying his hardest (but not smartest) to be loved and accepted.
So, the sum of all our fears?
Faulty programming when we were young uns!
The truth of which is enough to give a man (like me) a wobbly lip. Instead, I'll settle for this... :-(
THANKFULLY - and I do mean to shout! - what we can learn as a child we can unlearn as an adult!
And my unlearning starts here, on these pages about fear. (I hope your unlearning starts here, too!)
Yes, I'm going to challenge every fear that comes my way from now on. I'm going to start by noticing them; and then I'm going to wonder whether the respective fears serve me well as an adult; and then I'm going to challenge each one that doesn't.
Yes,
I'm going to do as Susan Jeffers says and 'Feel
the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway (r)
It sounds corny, I know, but I reckon fear is corny. It's certainly not something to be ashamed of. Not any more, not now we know where it all comes from.
So how about you? What will you do when you discover that many of your greatest fears are absolutely unnecessary? I'd love to hear. So do get in touch!
Otherwise, help yourself to this veritable feast of information - and challenge where appropriate!
All about fear...
Fear of... | Fear affects us all far too much, don't you know, as you can see here...
But thankfully, there's hope... |
"Courage
is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear"
| |
Okay, let's see what others have to say shall we...
NativeRemedies.com is an online store and "trusted supplier of herbal & homeopathic remedies". But they know a lot about this F-word, too. This is what they have to say (and I paraphrase)...
What is it?
It's an instinctive response to danger. Biologically speaking it causes these physical reactions:
Diagnosing it
There are types of fear that are helpful - e.g. before giving an important speech (see this link on fear of public speaking) - and types that are not. The latter types are usually those that get out of control, or that are future-orientated (anxiety). Whilst panic is feeling an alarm response when there is nothing to be afraid of (a.k.a. phobia)
What causes it?
It starts out as a response to potential and real threats but it can often become overactive, especially in children who are unable to rationalise fears that are unrealistic or unfounded.
---
And you can find out much more about overcoming it etc. at NativeRemedies.com
Well, it's hard to summarise what EruptingMind.com has to say about F-E-A-R as it takes a fairly comprehensive look at this subject. Instead I'll show you the main subtopics:
EruptingMind.com also confirms what I say above in that most of our fearfulness is learned. It believes that only fear of falling and loud noises are innate .
It really is a great discussion and I highly recommend that you read it, if you're interested in learning more. And you'll find it all at EruptingMind.com
There are no need for definitions at the following resources. Instead, say 'hello' to overcoming the dreaded F-word, once and for all...
Return to Self Help Collective from Fear
 What do YOU think?Please do tell us what you think about the issue of fear. Oh, and please rate this page - thanks! :-)
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