Is fear of commitment our greatest fear? It doesn't have to be!...


	Home \| About Us \| Contact Us \| Blog \| Newsletter \|

[?] Subscribe To
This Site

All About... Fear of Commitment!

Home >> Fear >> (of) Commitment

One of the top 10 fears...

... this commitment fear could be an inability to get seriously involved in a long-term romantic relationship.

It could mean not getting involved with church, or work, or even mean you staying aloof from friends and family.

It could even be as simple as not trying your hardest at school or college.

I guess, it's a fear of giving your best only to find that your best is not good enough.

Well, the good news is that you are not alone - this is one of the most common fears, for both men and women!

More good news is that you'll find some great resources here, to help with this deepest fear, including a YouTube video, some inspirational quotes and my own thoughts on this fear of the unknown.

In summary: Commitment? There is nothing to fear! There is only the opportunity to embrace, again and again, that will enable you to live a liberated and empowered life!

(And I hope you know that all this 'rah rah hoopla' positivity is more for my benefit than yours. It seems I'm big into commitment fear, so I certainly don't mind if you're a little less enthusiastic... :-) )

Fear of Commitment

Fear of commitment - what I say...

As you'll soon see, I take commitment fear very seriously. I probably suffer from it quite a lot, right now, so I have to. Still, I couldn't resist this funny inspirational quotation to get things going...

"When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence.
When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment."
-- Warren Farrell

Okay, let's get serious, then...

"Hmm... Well, you see... The thing is, er, there might be something better coming round the corner. And... Would you mind if...?"

Sound familiar?

If it does, if you've been there - and I'm betting that you have - then these are the mealy-mouthed musings of someone suffering from - tada! - fear of commitment.

Of course you are right in doing your due diligence, you are right to be cautious, when it comes to...

buying a car, or
getting a new job, or
deciding that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with...

but there comes a point - and I'm talking to myself now (as ever), as much as you - when you have to commit, simply, to one plan of action or another.

So sitting on the fence should never be your permanent job!

Commitment fear - one of our most common fears, don't you know! - is basically 'fear of getting it wrong', or, more basic than that, it is simply fear of failure.

And failure is nothing to be frightened of. (Is it?) It is not taking action, not 'committing to the cause' (any cause, as long as it's the right one at the time), that should be avoided, if at all possible.

So like most of the top 10 fears, fear of commitment is fear of the unknown!

But everything in life is unknown to us, at some point.

So life goes nowhere - fast! - without commitment!

Let me list some obvious examples of the scourge that is this deepest fear:

You don't enjoy the company of your friends without committing time and energy to them
You don't enjoy your job, likewise, and...
You certainly will never be happy in a long-term romantic relationship, if you don't stop looking over your shoulder for something better? (Are you listening, Steve? Lol.)

I firmly believe that showing commitment to something, or someone, is one of life's most empowering (and liberating) experiences. It's how we achieve; how we grow; how we learn; and how we love.

Yes, commitment is love. So what's to fear?

So I give a big thumbs down to this our greatest fear - how about you?

Do let us know what you think about this fear!

By the way, in all the doom and gloom I should point out all fears can be overcome, including this one. And one way to do so is to write about your life - write little 'stories' that reveal your past, and rewrite them so you, in effect, end up rewriting your future life. Sounds confusing as I've written about it, but Chris Cade's Inscribe Your Life program explains it much better (via free videos and free downloads).

Fear of commitment - what YouTube has to say...

Hmm, this YouTube video is called "Relationship Advice : Understanding Fear of Commitment" and I guess it can be summed up by the notion of 'fear of unknown'. Enjoy...

Fear of commitment - what Bruce Jenner has to say...

"If you want to take your mission in life to the next level, if you're stuck
and you don't know how to rise, don't look outside yourself. Look inside.
Don't let your fears keep you mired in the crowd. Abolish your fears and
raise your commitment level to the point of no return, and I guarantee
you that the Champion Within will burst forth to propel you toward victory."
-- Bruce Jenner

Yet again, an inspirational quote takes sentences to say what I take pages. Hee hee!

Thanks, Bruce.

Fear of commitment - what these recommended resources say...

Here are a few online resources that can help with your commitment fear:

WikiPedia describes it thus...

"...avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.
"...Commitmentphobia is often most strongly apparent in romantic life. Generally, commitmentphobic people claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic attachment and get married, yet they fail to find appropriate partners and maintain longlasting connections. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitmentphobic partner craves what he/she fears most: love and connection..."
Oh dear poor commitmentphobic people! And...
WikiHow talks about getting over fear of commitment in a romantic relationship

That's nice!
And CatchHimandKeepHim.com promise to answer this question: ever wonder why a man gets "physical" and then pulls away?
Fear of commitment books at Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk

Return to Fear from Fear Of Commitment or...
Return to Self Help Collective from Fear Of Commitment

More Info

Let us know how you overcome your fears! Thanks! :-)

Share |

How Did We Do?

What do you think to this fear of commitment page? Please rate it below - thanks! :-)