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All About... Fear of Commitment!

Home >> Fear >> (of) Commitment

One of the top 10 fears...

... this commitment fear could be an inability to get seriously involved in a long-term romantic relationship. It could mean not getting involved with church, or work, or even mean you staying aloof from friends and family.

It could even be as simple as not trying your hardest at school or college. I guess, it's a fear of giving your best only to find that your best is not good enough. Well, the good news is that you are not alone - this is one of the most common fears, for both men and women!

  • More good news is that you'll find some great resources here, to help with this deepest fear, including a YouTube video, some inspirational quotes and my own thoughts on this fear of the unknown.
Fear of commitment image - woman climbing on rock

In summary: Commitment? There is nothing to fear! There is only the opportunity to embrace, again and again, that will enable you to live a liberated and empowered life!


Fear of Commitment

What I say...

As you'll soon see, I take commitment fear very seriously. I probably suffer from it quite a lot, right now, so I have to. Still, I couldn't resist this funny inspirational quotation to get things going...

"When women hold off from marrying men,
we call it independence. When men hold off from
marrying women, we call it fear of commitment."

-- Warren Farrell

Okay, let's get serious, then...

"Hmm... Well, you see... The thing is, er, there might be something better coming round the corner. And... Would you mind if...?"

Sound familiar?

If it does, if you've been there - and I'm betting that you have - then these are the mealy-mouthed musings of someone suffering from - tada! - fear of commitment.

Of course you are right in doing your due diligence, you are right to be cautious, when it comes to...

  • buying a car, or
  • getting a new job, or
  • deciding that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with...

but there comes a point - and I'm talking to myself now (as ever), as much as you - when you have to commit, simply, to one plan of action or another.

So sitting on the fence should never be your permanent job!


Defining commitment fear...

Commitment fear - one of our most common fears, don't you know! - is basically 'fear of getting it wrong', or, more basic than that, it is simply fear of failure.

And failure is nothing to be frightened of. (Is it?) It is not taking action, not 'committing to the cause' (any cause, as long as it's the right one at the time), that should be avoided, if at all possible.

So like most of the top 10 fears, fear of commitment is fear of the unknown! But everything in life is unknown to us, at some point. So life goes nowhere - fast! - without commitment!

Let me list some obvious examples of the scourge that is this deepest fear:

  • You don't enjoy the company of your friends without committing time and energy to them

  • You don't enjoy your job, likewise, and...

  • You certainly will never be happy in a long-term romantic relationship, if you don't stop looking over your shoulder for something better? (Are you listening, Steve?)

I firmly believe that showing commitment to something, or someone, is one of life's most empowering (and liberating) experiences. It's how we achieve; how we grow; how we learn; and how we love.

Yes, commitment is love. So what's to fear? So I give a big thumbs down to this our greatest fear - how about you?...


Solving commitment fear...

NOTE: one solution I'm trying out right now - and so far so good - is a self-hypnosis download from It's a short MP3 hypnosis script all about fear of commitment. Just sit down, listen, absorb... It's already made a difference!


What YouTube has to say...

Hmm, this YouTube video is called "Relationship Advice : Understanding Fear of Commitment" and I guess it can be summed up by the notion of 'fear of unknown'. Enjoy...


Reminder: try out - to help you reprogram you away from your commitment fears...

Return to Fear from Fear Of Commitment or...
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