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Got Effective Communication Skills?Home
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Hello? I just said: Are your communication skills effective? Sorry for repeating myself, but it didn't seem that you were listening to me! ;-) Okay, so you're an effective communicator - great! Pat yourself on the back, pass Go and collect 200 dollars... For everyone else, can I politely suggest that you try not doing some of the things Barbara White talks about in her communication skills article, below... (Or, if you want for more information - including the 12 communication barriers people erect to block out happy relationships - I recommend you signup for Joshua Uebergang's free communication secrets and tips!) Effective communication skills - what I say...Barbara's article on effective communication skills is a good one. She basically advises us to remove these so-called listening blocks that prevent you from communicating effectively, that is:
I will put into practice some of the things she advises, for sure. I particularly need to concentrate on not sparring - not being argumentative (eek!) - and not putting people down. But no-one does this on purpose (I don't think) so you have to spot yourself doing this - or listen to people who say that's how you communicate - and then take the appropriate action. effective communication skills, good communication skills, effective team communication skills, basic communication skills, And effective
communication is not just about listening well. Yes, you can develop good communication
skills through listening but there are
other effective interpersonal communication skills too such as: showing respect, focusing on the other person, reading
between the lines, checking body language and considering
your response, etc. Anyway, I interrupted Barbara White and that's very rude (and ineffective!) of me... Develop Effective Communication Skills Through ListeningEffective communication skills - what Barbara White has to say...Listening is an important skill in communication. It needs to be honed and practised to be truly effective. Most people have listening blocks. By becoming aware of these blocks you can begin to remove them by practice and replace them with attentive listening. Mind Reading A mind reader doesn't pay much attention to what people say and tends to distrust it. A mind reader tries to work out what the other person is really thinking and feeling. For example, a mind reader might think, "she says she wants to go to the show, but I think she's tired and really wants to relax instead. She might not like it if I pushed her when she doesn't really want to go." The mind reader pays more attention to intonations and subtle clues rather than the actual words spoken in the effort to see the underlying truth. A mind reader tends to make assumptions and judgements about how people react to them. These notions come from intuition and hunches but have little to do with what the person is actually saying. Filtering Filtering is when you listen to some things and not to others. You pay enough attention to see if someone is angry or upset or if you're in emotional danger. When a person is satisfied that the communication contains none of those things, they let their mind wander. People also filter to avoid hearing negative or critical things. Judging If you pre judge someone as being stupid or unqualified you don't pay attention to what they say. Negative labels have enormous power. You have already written them off. A basic rule of listening is that judgements should only be made after you have heard and evaluated the content of the message. Sparring The sparring block causes you to argue and debate with people. The other person never feels heard because you are so quick to disagree. Your focus is finding things to disagree with. You take strong stands and are very clear about your opinions and preferences. The best way to avoid sparring is to repeat back and acknowledge what you're heard. Look for one thing you might agree with. The Put Down The put down is a type of sparring. You use sarcasm or demeaning remarks to dismiss the other person's point of view. The put down is the standard block in many marriages. Another type of sparring is discounting. Discounting is used by people who can't stand compliments. "Oh I didn't do anything...it's nice of you to say, but it's really not very good." Discounting is a technique that runs yourself down when you get a compliment. The other person doesn't feel satisfied that you really heard the appreciation and they are right, you didn't. -- Your effective communication skills tool box needs to include
good listening skills. Listening is essential for effective communication. The
listening blocks mentioned are barriers to good listening. Awareness of these
listening blocks, is the first important step to improve listening skills, and
create mutual understanding in communication. Distracting and destructive thought
patterns, such as in these examples, can be barriers to good listening. By developing
good listening skills you will see great improvements in your ability to communicate ---------------------------------------------------- Effective communication skills - what Joshua Uebergang has to say...Joshua Uebergang knows a lot about effective
communication skills. He started out shy and awkward, and now he's something of a BIG communicator. As you'll see in Joshua's
Communication Skills Video This video contains
10 tips on developing your communication skills. It's a long video, and
you'll need to concentrate, but I think it will be worth your time and effort.
Joshua Uebergang's
Communication Skills Video Return
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Skills from Effective Communication Skills
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