Effective communication skills from Barbara White. Help yourself here...   

Effective Communication Skills

Effective communication skills?

Well try not doing some of the things Barbara White talks about in her communication skills article. Try to remove these so-called listening blocks that prevent you from communicating effectively: try not to be a mind reader, try not to filter too much, and definitely stop judging etc. You know, it might just work! :-)

Effective communication skills - what I say...

Barbara's article on effective communication skills is a good one. And I will try to put into practice some of the things she advises. I particularly need to concentrate on not sparring - not being argumentative (eek!) - and not putting people down. But no-one does this on purpose (I don't think) so you have to spot yourself doing this, or listen to people who say that's how you communicate, and then take the appropriate action. (How about you and your effective communication skills - what will you do?)

And effective communication is not just about listening well. Yes, you can develop good communication skills through listening but there are other ways to do so, too such as show respect, focus on the other person, read between the lines, check body language and consider your response (all explained in this article called, 5 Powerful Effective Communication Skill Secrets by Peter Murphy)

Anyway, I interrupted Barbara White and that's very rude of me...

Develop Effective Communication Skills Through Listening

Effective communication skills - what Barbara White has to say...

Listening is an important skill in communication. It needs to be honed and practised to be truly effective. Most people have listening blocks. By becoming aware of these blocks you can begin to remove them by practice and replace them with attentive listening.

Mind Reading

A mind reader doesn't pay much attention to what people say and tends to distrust it. A mind reader tries to work out what the other person is really thinking and feeling. For example, a mind reader might think, "she says she wants to go to the show, but I think she's tired and really wants to relax instead. She might not like it if I pushed her when she doesn't really want to go." The mind reader pays more attention to intonations and subtle clues rather than the actual words spoken in the effort to see the underlying truth. A mind reader tends to make assumptions and judgements about how people react to them. These notions come from intuition and hunches but have little to do with what the person is actually saying.

Filtering

Filtering is when you listen to some things and not to others. You pay enough attention to see if someone is angry or upset or if you're in emotional danger. When a person is satisfied that the communication contains none of those things, they let their mind wander. People also filter to avoid hearing negative or critical things.

Judging

If you pre judge someone as being stupid or unqualified you don't pay attention to what they say. Negative labels have enormous power. You have already written them off. A basic rule of listening is that judgements should only be made after you have heard and evaluated the content of the message.

Sparring

The sparring block causes you to argue and debate with people. The other person never feels heard because you are so quick to disagree. Your focus is finding things to disagree with. You take strong stands and are very clear about your opinions and preferences. The best way to avoid sparring is to repeat back and acknowledge what you're heard. Look for one thing you might agree with.

The Put Down

The put down is a type of sparring. You use sarcasm or demeaning remarks to dismiss the other person's point of view. The put down is the standard block in many marriages. Another type of sparring is discounting. Discounting is used by people who can't stand compliments. "Oh I didn't do anything...it's nice of you to say, but it's really not very good." Discounting is a technique that runs yourself down when you get a compliment. The other person doesn't feel satisfied that you really heard the appreciation and they are right, you didn't.

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Your effective communication skills tool box needs to include good listening skills. Listening is essential for effective communication. The listening blocks mentioned are barriers to good listening. Awareness of these listening blocks, is the first important step to improve listening skills, and create mutual understanding in communication. Distracting and destructive thought patterns, such as in these examples, can be barriers to good listening. By developing good listening skills you will see great improvements in your ability to communicate

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Barbara White has a passion to empower others towards success and excellence in their personal and professional lives. Barbara has a background of over twenty years in educational leadership, teaching children and adults to be their absolute best and overcome all challenges. Now as President of Beyond Better Development, Barbara works with individuals and organizations to accelerate growth and success. For more information visit her website http://www.livingbeyondbetter.com For more great articles go to http://www.articlesbeyondbetter.com

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