"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)


Depression in Relationships

by Anon

My girlfriend of 9 months told me she suffers from depression, and she's suffering from it right now. Because of this she doesn't seem to want me to be in her life anymore. Help, this is breaking my heart...

"Relationships Q&A with You, Me and Paula Renaye"

QUESTION: Is There Anything For Me To Do Regards My Girlfriend Who Has Depression?...


MORE FROM Anon...

Help, I've been dating my girlfriend for 9 months and she just told me about her depression.

For the last two weeks, things have been crazy and she is feeling overwhelmed.

I said some trigger words without knowing and I tried to take over at helping her with these issues. She said to me yesterday that she appreciated my help and she wants me to get back to my own life.

She needs some time to get pass the trials in her life so I might not hear from her in a while.

I said I was going to miss her but I would be there and waiting....Then, she responded by saying "goodbye" and I haven't heard anything since then.

I'm going crazy and I don't know what to do.

She is the first woman I've dated who suffers from depression.

I love her and don't want to lose her, so I hope her goodbye isn't forever. The kicker is, this is a long distance relationship so I can't go see her and she isn't taking my calls or responding to my text message.

What should I do?

I can't stop crying and I'm confused. How much time should I allow to go by before I give up? My heart is breaking...







STEVE'S ANSWER

"That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end."
-- Elizabeth Wurtzel

I'm so sorry (for you both) that this depression in your girlfriend has reappeared. As for what to do next, I think you had best get on with your life as she suggests. Depression is not something you're going to be able to seriously help her with, unless you're a professional in that area. In fact you trying to help may only make things worse for her.

Now I don't speak as someone who has experience of depression as you're describing, other than secondhand from listening to others. Unless this depression can be treated /cured/addressed (whatever the right verb is to describe dealing with depression) this woman can't be in a relationship with ANYONE!...

But as I say, I know little about this subject - what do others think is the best thing to do here?

Steve


NOTE: I've created a relationships ebook called "Top 10 Relationship Questions... Answered" that aims to help anyone in a romantic relationship - whether it's to start/end a relationship, or to learn how to trust in a relationship, or even how to deal with a controlling relationship.

And the answers in the ebook I provide (based on questions asked in the Relationship Advice Forum) help you find your answers, in your own unique relationships. I recommend it, but then I would say that wouldn't I! Find out more here...

Steve
(Dec 1st, 2015)

 

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