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Communication Skills

A single web page on all you need to know about communication skills?

Now that is good communication!

Of course it would be almost impossible for me to communicate the complexities of communication - verbal, nonverbal, effective communication skills, improving skills etc. - in 800 words or so. In fact, there are an awful lot of websites and web pages about communication skills. And I'm sure there are thousands of self help books too on the subject.

So why isn't the message getting across then? Why do most of us still find it difficult to communicate effectively? Can't we just follow some simple rules, put into practice some simple communication tips and guidelines? After all, the importance of communication skills can not be overstated.

This communication skills page will help. Yes, this will get you started in basic communication skills via my own experiences and via content (and a communication test) from respected communications-related websites. Skills for good communication await both you and I - oral skills, listening skills, even effective interpersonal communication skills, the lot.

Your job (and mine) is simply to read and to put into practice.

Enjoy. And do get in touch - I love to hear your comments.

And now, some talking waterlillies...

"Okay, okay, if we want to listen to everyone then we'll be just have to take our turn. Let the smallest of us go first""

Communication Skills

Communication skills - what I say...

I have a confession to make: I think I'm pretty good at communicating. I'd even go so far as to say that communication skills - verbal communication skills, written communication skills, listening skills - are one of my strengths.

I also know that I make many communication mistakes each and every day, so I could definitely do with improving communication skills (taking this communication skills test(*) only confirmed this). Yes, there are days when I listen closely to people and respond accordingly and there are other days when I can't wait to finish their sentence or I'm thinking about something else at the same time as they're talking to me. Ooops!

Like you, probably, I know what it takes to communicate effectively; it's doing it that's the hard bit.

Worse, though, are the times that I've already decided that whatever the person is going to say to me is 'wrong' (and you only have to read self-help books like How to Befriend Your Shadow or Bonds That Make Us Free to understand how self-sabotage can undermine effective communication). This type of behaviour does not make for good interpersonal relations, oh no!

Yes, as David Bowie once sang, "It ain't easy!" Still, it is possible to communicate more effectively, I know it is. How? Learn from others, learn from ourselves but always, always be doing - that's how.

One last thing to say about communication. Yes, I joke (above) about not being able to explain communication skills on a single page. Some people, however - cleverer people than me - are able to reduce communication into a single quote. Like these guys...

"When I am at Milan, I do as they do at Milan; but when I go to Rome, I do as Rome does" -- St. Augustine

"Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But
this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are - or as we are
conditioned to see it." -- Dr. Stephen Covey

"Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing.
If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part
of your life." -- Brian Tracy

More inspirational quotes...

So my final thought: communication skills should never be taken for granted - that's what I say.

How about you? How good are you at the ol' communicating and what mistakes do you make far too frequently - do let us know, eh?

(*) - The communications skills test by Psychtests is a fun test to take to show you where you're going wrong and going right (the 34 questions will only take you ten minutes or so to take). But the test also acts as a quick guide to what effective communication skills are - you can learn a lot simply by reading the questions, I think.

Take a look at my results:

"Your communication skills are average, leaving plenty of room
for improvement. You scored somewhere in the middle on the
communication scale - not picture perfect, but not the bottom
of the barrel either."

And this is a great communicator? Oh dear!

Why don't you take the communications skills test and see how you do!

Communication - what Mindtools say...

Mindtools offers essential skills for an excellent career - so it's a website aimed at the businessperson. Communication cuts across all aspects of our life, though, and so their advice is relevant to all of us, if a little technical. I've summarised their main points below:

Communications Skills – The Importance of Removing Barriers

"Problems with communication can pop-up at every stage of the communication process (which consists of the sender, encoding, the channel, decoding, the receiver, feedback and context). At each stage, there is the potential for misunderstanding and confusion."

And so "to be an effective communicator... [your aim] is to [reduce] the frequency of problems at each stage... [or to effectively remove the barriers]".

As I said, it's a bit business-speak, but I think you see where they're coming from. Here's what they mean by stages of communication process:

Source - Why are you communicating and what do you want to achieve from it?

Message - Self-explanatory

Encoding - Transfer the information into a form that can be sent and successfully decoded whilst being mindful of cultural (e.g. gender) issues, assumptions etc.

Channel - Is the communication verbal, non-verbal, via the phone, face-to-face etc.?

Decoding - This requires taking enough time to hear/listen to the message properly, and having sufficient knowledge to understand the message.

Receiver - This is the intended audience. Be aware of their ideas and feelings.

Feedback - It goes without saying that you should pay close attention to feedback to avoid misunderstandings

Context - The culture or environment the message is delivered in.

Phew! Is it any wonder we get communication wrong, sometimes. Lol.

Read more about communication skills from Mindtools here. (It's a great learning resource.)

And you can find more communication skills resources at:

• Pyschtests Communication Skills Test
  (If you pay for the full results you get detailed analysis of your test PLUS lots of great information about communication. Costs about $5US. Highly recommended.)
  
  
• Free Management Library
  Contains several pages on face-to-face communication skills like listening, nonverbal communications, improving your communication skills etc.
  

Communication skills - what 80s band Spandau Ballet says...

"Communication let me down!"

Great song (and what outfits) but I prefer this Spandau song.

What do YOU think?

Do tell us what you think about the issue of communication skills . Oh, and please rate this page - thanks. :-)