"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)


Boyfriend Says I Drive Him Crazy

by C
(USA)

My boyfriend says I drive him crazy and I try my best not to and I love him so much, but I just don't know what else to do. We have long distance relationship that I'm frightened of losing. What can I do?...

"Relationships Q&A with You, Me and Paula Renaye"

QUESTION: My Boyfriend Says I Drive Him Crazy. How Do I Stop?...


MORE FROM C...

I love my boyfriend with all of my heart, but we are long distance and live an hour and half away from each other and its sometimes difficult to see each other when we want to.

He has gotten upset with me with certain things I say and it's usually in text messages.

It's usually every month and it's the same thing, or something gets misinterpreted in my text messages, but he says I make comments before when we are together in person.

Because of our circumstances we don't get to talk on the phone or have the opportunity to do video chat. Our last fight was a week ago because I made a statement that sounded like he was lying to me about his schedule which wasn't my intent in the text message.

He said it's probably because I don't trust him, and I absolutely 100% do, and he said why do I give him such a hard time.

He said things need to change and I am not sure how.

I wanna see him when I have the opportunity to but I am fearful that I just won't get to. Sometimes it goes 2-3 weeks that we don't see each other.

I don't know what to do to change but all I can think of is give him his space and he might feel smothered. He says he sees a future with me and wants to marry me but I drive him crazy.

What are some suggestions?

Should I just give him some space?

I really don't know what to do without making things worse and then losing him for good. I get anxious now and watch what I say when we are apart.

He is going through a lot of personal hardships right now and I do my best to be supportive and be there for him and he acknowledges that. He told me last night that he is confused about me and does not know if we could make it all the way.

Some days he's confident and some days he's not, and when he does raise questions about our future it seems to be when he has a lot on his mind.

I love him very much and plan on moving in with him sometime in the future but I want things to be okay with us up until then since the distance is an issue.

Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated...

C







STEVE'S ANSWER

"When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself."
-- Deepak Chopra

My answer will be short, because I'd like others to have their say, but reading your question I'm left wondering this:
What do YOU want in a relationship, C?

No relationship works by always trying to please the other person. It might even be this 'trying to please' that is actually bothering your boyfriend - and he's just not wise enough to realise it.

Anyway, I'd like others to share their opinions please - thanks.

Steve


NOTE: I've created a relationships ebook called "Top 10 Relationship Questions... Answered" that aims to help anyone in a romantic relationship - whether it's to start/end a relationship, or to learn how to trust in a relationship, or even how to deal with a controlling relationship.

And the answers in the ebook I provide (based on questions asked in the Relationship Advice Forum) help you find your answers, in your own unique relationships. I recommend it, but then I would say that wouldn't I! Find out more here...

Steve
(Dec 1st, 2015)

 

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