"Stories" from the Collective (YOU)


Boyfriend blowing hot and cold

by Heavy Dee
(Ghana)

My boyfriend blows hot and cold with me. But most of all he complains about how I communicate with him. And he'd leave me immediately given the chance. What should I do?...

"Your Relationship Questions, Your Answers!"

QUESTION: How do I handle my hot/cold boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have dated for 1 and half years.

And throughout this time he keeps blowing hot and cold.

(Oh, he once mentioned too that if his ex whom he has two kids with comes back he will take her.)

So not long ago he asked me to give him space. And when I did so, he started complaining that I have changed and become too laid back.

So, naturally, upon his complaints I started calling him more often again.

Then he has gone back to his former self of not replying my texts or answering or returning my calls.

However, when he feels like it he texts and calls and he always expects an immediate response.

How do I handle this situation please?







STEVE'S ANSWER

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
-- William Shakespeare

I don't mean to be cute with that Shakespeare quote above, but he has got a point, don't you think. It really all is in the beholding - whether beauty or behaviour!

The thing is, your boyfriend behaves a certain way, a way which you think is unreasonable. (Others that read this may see it that way too, but what's important is what YOU think!)

And, on the face of it, it seems your boyfriend is going to complain whatever you do; is going to treat you in a way that doesn't seem right.

So, let me pretend to be you for a moment, and you can pretend to be me. Now I've got this girlfriend, see, and whatever I do she seems to complain:
  • If I contact her too much - she complains

  • If I contact her not enough - she complains, and

  • If I don't respond immediately to her - she complains

Oh, and if her ex gets in touch she'd dump me in a flash!

How do you recommend I handle this situation, please? (And how would anybody else handle this - please leave comments below!)

Thanks,
Steve


NOTE: I've created a relationships ebook called "Top 10 Relationship Questions... Answered" that aims to help anyone in a romantic relationship - whether it's to start/end a relationship, or to learn how to trust in a relationship, or even how to deal with a controlling relationship.

And the answers in the ebook I provide (based on questions asked in the Relationship Advice Forum) help you find your answers, in your own unique relationships. I recommend it, but then I would say that wouldn't I! Find out more here...

Steve
(Dec 1st, 2015)

 

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