See what Michael Lee has to say about body language here...   

Body Language

55% of your communication comes from your body!

...Yep, and 38% comes from the tone, speed and inflection of your voice. That leaves a measly 7% for what you actually say. So you can see assertiveness (or any other form of effective communication) requires that you understand how this so-called secret language works too.

Thankfully, for both you and I, there are some great resources below - including an article by Michael Lee - which discuss reading, understanding and interpreting the signs of this secret language. And YouTube contributes with some videos, too. (Which is nice!)

So, without further ado, I shall begin... (Er, would you mind uncrossing those arms first! Thanks :-) )

Body language - what I say...

"Body talk" - and how it works - is not my strong point! Let me admit that, right now. And this is so much the case so that when I was in my twenties, a good woman friend of mine at the time - Liza - bought me a book on the subject for Christmas - completely out of the blue! She might as well have bought me some soap and pointed me in the direction of a bathroom - such was her not-so-subtle communication to me! (By the way, I shower every day - promise! :-) )

As to me, I had no idea that I was clueless in the language body signs department. Still, like you, I can learn. And the following resources are great places for both you and I to learn more about this oh-so-important skill:

• How to read body language
  
  "Want to break down the barriers of communication? Reading [the signs] can help you approach and interact with anyone, and provides an insight into another person's thoughts or future actions".
  
  Learn more from Michael Lee...
  
  
• Body language signs
  
  Reading people's body signals involves interpreting those signals you get from the eyes, the mouth, the head, the hands, the face, the arms and legs etc. It's also important to look for at least 2 or 3 signs with the same meaning...
  
  Find out more here...
  
  
• Body language in communication
  
  "An effective conversationalist or speaker utilizes [this] language in communication. In fact, you can practically tell if the person is a professional or plain fraud in how they communicate with an individual or an audience - in gestures, posture, or poise."
  
  Learn more from Michael Lee...
  
  
• Understanding and interpreting body language
  
  Well this is all about interpreting "the non-verbal movements we make as part of how we communicate, from waving hands to twitching of facial muscles". That's according to changingminds.org, anyway. And the site goes on to discuss uses of nonverbal communication, reading non-verbals, gesture types, so-called tells (unconscious signals), and more...
  
  Learn more here...
  

And do let me know what you think about the secret language - contact me here! Thanks.

Body language - what YouTube has to say...

Thank goodness for YouTube, eh! You can pretty much guarantee videos on any subject - that includes the art of reading body language. I've picked 2 different examples below, that show via models/actors how these signs look in action. Take it away, YouTube...

• Music Video
  
  "94% of the moves you make is enough to communicate"... That's what this music video called Body Language says anyway. Worth a close watch. Turn the sound down if you're not into RnB :-O
  
  
  
  
  
• How to flirt video
  
  In this video, learn how to flirt with body signals and how to read body language
  
  

( Oh, if you want to see more body language videos - click here! )

Winning with Assertive Behavior and Body Language

Body Language - what Michael Lee has to say...

Many people will tell you that what bothers them most during conversations is not the topic, but the attitude of the person they have conversed with. This predicament ends up to be the reason why friendships become superficial. As a result, one of you becomes either pushy or lifeless. Proper assertive behavior and body language, aside from possessing assertive communication skills, are therefore necessary in developing happy relationships.

Winning Friends

The right attitude to be able to win friends is to be more assertive. Being assertive is actually just your ability to stand up for yourself, tackle issues face to face, state your own personal views, and defend others when they are being taken advantage of. Contrary to what you may think, being assertive is very much different from being bossy and overbearing.

Getting Promoted

Assertiveness is actually a good thing. Without it, you inevitably hold back in your career and your personal life. If you are usually compared to another one of your co-workers because the two of you have similar levels of experience and skills, then it is more likely that the more assertive one is rewarded with the promotion.

It is natural that some people are more assertive than others; whether you are part of the former or the latter, it does not matter. What matters is that you get to learn assertive behavior, which ensures you are in the path for new opportunities.

For you to be assertive, you have to keep in mind the effects of positive body language. It is not difficult, actually. You just need to show the person you are talking to that you are attentive and that you truly care about whatever topic it is that you are discussing.

Eye-to-eye Contact

When in a conversation, you have to do everything you can to maintain eye-to-eye contact. It is believed that your eyes are the windows to your soul. Therefore, for you to be able to achieve a heartfelt and productive conversation, you have to show the other party your undivided attention.

You must not, under any circumstances, look around while the other person is talking. You have to always make sure that the person you're talking to sees that you are truly participating in your conversation by listening intently, while maintaining eye-to-eye contact.

Leaning Forward

For you to be able to further express that you are, in fact, approaching your conversation with respect and attention, you may lean forward. Leaning forward is a gesture that shows that you want to hear more and would want the other party to expound on what he or she has just said.

Of course, leaning backward is the opposite. It proves that you are only engaging yourself in the conversation because you have to, and not because you truly care about what is bothering the other party.

You have to prevent yourself from being pushy in your newfound relationship. You must not force your opinions and beliefs on the other party if he or she radically believes otherwise. Just let things be, accept them as how they are.

Just be assertive. Taking the initiative of beginning a conversation, or in stating your views without pushing them to the other party, is the right way for a productive and effective conversation. Do not worry about giving the other party an image that you are overly confident; for being assertive is not only about being confident, it is also about understanding other people and the empathy that you give them.

Indeed, it has been observed and proven that body language has a huge part when it comes to being assertive. Body language shows the other party that you are attentive to what he or she is saying. It is not all about looking good and speaking for yourself. It is also about making other people more comfortable when they talk and express their personal thoughts with you.

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Michael Lee is the author of the highly-acclaimed How To Be An Expert Persuader... In 20 Days or Less. This power-packed course reveals mind-altering persuasion secrets to turbocharge your earnings, win lots of friends, captivate the opposite sex, and make anyone subconsciously like and trust you. If you want to easily and quickly persuade anyone to eagerly do anything you want, go to http://www.20daypersuasion.com now!

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