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How To 'Win' with Assertive
Body Language Home
>> Assertiveness
>> B-O-D-Y L-A-N-G-U-A-G-E
55% of your communication comes from your body! ...Yep, and 38%
comes from the tone, speed and inflection of your voice. That leaves a
measly 7% for what you actually say. So you can see assertiveness
(or any other form of effective
communication) requires that you understand how this so-called secret language
works too.
Thankfully, for both you and I, there are many great resources
on this subject.
And I've included a few of them below - e.g. some YouTube videos on assertiveness, my own thoughts about this secret language, and a few more resources.
And, of course, if you have any tips on reading body language please do share them. You can contact us, here!
So, without further ado, I shall
begin... (Er, would you mind uncrossing those arms first! Thanks ;-) )
Body Talk - About Body Language
What I say..."Body talk" - and how it
works - is not my strong point! Let me admit that, right now. And this is so much
the case so that when I was in my twenties, a good woman friend of mine at the
time - Liza - bought me a book on the subject for Christmas - completely out of
the blue! She might as well have bought me some soap and pointed me in the direction
of a bathroom - such was her not-so-subtle communication to me! (By the way, I
shower every day - promise! :-) )
As to me, I had no idea that I was clueless
in the language body signs department. Still, like you, I can learn. And have done so, over the years.
So I now know the following
about this oh-so-important skill:
- How to read
Pay
attention to the eyes (do they maintain eye contact?), the hands (and what they're
doing with them), and how relaxed the person is. Also, how close is this person
to you? Are they mimicking you? Are they nervous?
These are just a few
things to look out for. Note: reading body language is like listening to someone.
How they say something is just as important as what they say! (See verbal communications skills for more!)
- signs
Reading people's body signals involves interpreting those signals you
get from the eyes, the mouth, the head, the hands, the face, the arms and legs
etc. It's also important to look for at least 2 or 3 signs with the same meaning...
- Understanding and interpreting
Well this is all
about interpreting the non-verbal movements we make as we communicate.
I appreciate
the above is a little 'simplistic'. I will do better, soon, I promise! And, no,
I do not have my fingers crossed behind my back as I write this!
Anyway,
do let me know what you think about the secret language - you can
contact me here! Or, if you like, we can do a secret handshake, whilst
standing on one foot! I'll leave it up to you! ;-)
What YouTube has to say...Thank goodness for YouTube, eh! You
can pretty much guarantee videos on any subject - that includes the art of reading
body language. I've picked 2 different examples below, that show via models/actors
how these signs look in action. Take it away, YouTube...
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