Improve your assertiveness? Your journey begins here...
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Improve your assertiveness? Your journey begins here... |
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Assertiveness"The world would be a better place if people were more assertive." Who said that? I did. I genuinely believe that many of the issues of the world - whether it's the world of ourselves or the world that we all live in - would dissipate if people / organisations / countries expressed their needs assertively. So I say "No" to passive aggressiveness (and plain ol' aggressiveness) and "Yes" to assertiveness. And this is not easy for me to say because, for the most of my life anyway, I have not been assertive enough, with myself or with others. And guess what suffers because of this 'lack' - interpersonal relations (relationships with your siblings, intimate relationships, friendships, work-relations) communication skills (how the world sees and hears you) and much more, that's what? In one regard I am highly qualified to talk about assertiveness - the problems that occur with a lack of assertiveness - but in another regard, I am not (i.e. how to develop assertiveness). I am very much a work in progress with assertiveness, so I shall let Gloria Hamilten have her say instead (and I shall begin my assertiveness training soon - oh yes!) Enjoy... PS Why not check out one of these assertiveness tests to see how assertive (or not) you are, first! (And if it's looking bad you could always try out some assertiveness training yourself or learn some effective assertiveness techniques. Or maybe check out your body language skills?)
Assertive Behavior - What Is It Really?Assertiveness - what Gloria Hamilten has to say...Your assertiveness or lack of it is closely related to your daily communication. Most of us take communication for granted; it's just one of those things we do every day without realizing that the process is quite complex. Understanding the communication process will allow you to be more aware, and identify areas in which you could be more assertive. Incorporating assertiveness into your communication means that you need to understand what assertiveness is and what it is not. Assertiveness and aggressiveness are different behaviours, largely separated by the level of respect for yourself and others. In its simplest form, assertiveness is the expression of your wants, your needs, and your opinions clearly and directly stated without violating the rights of others. Aggressiveness, on the other hand, is the expression of feelings, wants, and opinions with no respect for others. Aggressive behaviour focuses on the self at the expense of others. Many people have the wrong idea as to what assertiveness really implies. They think that assertiveness means standing your ground, pushing for what you want, and refusing to give in. Other opinions of assertiveness think that it means a person is mostly pleasant but can still resolutely stand their ground. Neither of these definitions is correct. Assertiveness is a very natural style that means nothing more than interacting with others in a direct, honest and respectful manner. Being assertive is a must if relationships are honest and healthy, and result in win-win. Assertion communicates that one has a healthy self-respect and respect for others. Assertive behaviour is about being honest and telling others how you feel, what you want, and about standing up for your rights. It shows that you view yourself as equal to the other person, and that there are no power games. It is important to remember that being assertive is not a personal attack on others, rather it is used as a platform to communicate your needs, wants and opinions. When you feel that you are under attack from another person, you need to make sure that you don't take it personally, remembering that the other person is possibly also being assertive. You may need to soften your assertiveness if you find that the other person is starting to take it personally. Remember, that you are totally responsible for the communication that comes from you. If the other person seems to be taking it the wrong way then you need to change how you say, what seems to be offending them. This has been the tip of the iceberg when discussing assertiveness and future articles will go deeper into the communication process, the importance of "I" statements, and the differences between assertiveness, aggressiveness, and submissiveness. Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills. Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as ADD and its relations. She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia. Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults. ---------------------------------------------------- Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres. Visit her websites: Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gloria_Hamilten Assertiveness - what WikiPedia thinks..."Assertiveness is a trait taught by many personal development experts and psychotherapists and the subject of many popular self-help books. It is linked to self-esteem and considered an important communication skill. "As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is distinguished
from aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries;
their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these
three concepts. Passive communicators do not defend their own personal
boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to harm or otherwise unduly
influence them.... " What do YOU think?Do tell us what you think about the issue of assertiveness. Oh, and please rate this page - thanks. :-)
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