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What is Assertiveness and
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I - just - want - to - have - |
...So I say "No" to passive aggressiveness (and plain ol' aggressiveness) and "Yes" to...
A-S-S-E-R-T-I-V-E-N-E-S-S!
And this is not easy for me to say - clearly! - because, for the most of my life anyway, I have not been assured, emphatic or decisive enough, with myself or with others. And guess what suffers because of this 'lack' - interpersonal relations (relationships with your siblings, intimate relationships, friendships, work-relations) communication skills (how the world sees and hears you) and much more, that's what?
It's not something to put a smile on anyone's face!
But smiling's good for ya so what the hey! :-)
And so is learning how to be assertive.
So in one regard I am highly qualified to talk about this - the problems that occur with a lack of being 'certain' enough - but in another regard, I am not (i.e. do I really know how to develop assertiveness?). I am very much a work in progress, like you probably, so I shall let Gloria Hamilten have her say instead (and I shall begin my training soon - oh yes!)
Enjoy...
Steve
PS Oh, you might also want to learn some effective techniques, or maybe check out your body language skills, or simply answer this question about the A-word. Hey, it's up to you! Really. ;-)
Your assertiveness or lack of it is closely related to your daily communication.
Most of us take communication for granted; it's just one of those things we do every day without realizing that the process is quite complex.
Understanding the communication process will allow you to be more aware, and identify areas in which you could be more assertive.
Incorporating assertiveness into your communication means that you need to understand what assertiveness is and what it is not.
Assertiveness and aggressiveness are different behaviours, largely separated by the level of respect for yourself and others.
In its simplest form, assertiveness is the expression of your wants, your needs, and your opinions clearly and directly stated without violating the rights of others.
Aggressiveness, on the other hand, is the expression of feelings, wants, and opinions with no respect for others. Aggressive behaviour focuses on the self at the expense of others.
Many people have the wrong idea as to what assertiveness really implies.
They think that assertiveness means standing your ground, pushing for what you want, and refusing to give in.
Other opinions of assertiveness think that it means a person is mostly pleasant but can still resolutely stand their ground.
Neither of these definitions is correct.
Assertiveness is a very natural style that means nothing more than interacting with others in a direct, honest and respectful manner.
Being assertive is a must if relationships are honest and healthy, and result in win-win.
Assertion communicates that one has a healthy self-respect and respect for others.
Assertive behaviour is about being honest and telling others how you feel, what you want, and about standing up for your rights.
It shows that you view yourself as equal to the other person, and that there are no power games.
It is important to remember that being assertive is not a personal attack on others, rather it is used as a platform to communicate your needs, wants and opinions.
When you feel that you are under attack from another person, you need to make sure that you don't take it personally, remembering that the other person is possibly also being assertive.
You may need to soften your assertiveness if you find that the other person is starting to take it personally.
Remember, that you are totally responsible for the communication that comes from you.
If the other person seems to be taking it the wrong way then you need to change how you say, what seems to be offending them.
This has been the tip of the iceberg when discussing assertiveness and future articles will go deeper into the communication process, the importance of "I" statements, and the differences between assertiveness, aggressiveness, and submissiveness.
Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills.
Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as ADD and its relations.
She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia.
Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.
----------------------------------------------------
Gloria Hamilten
has authored the eBook: "Practical Self-Hypnosis for Success" and many
Reports and online articles.
Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres. Visit her websites:
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gloria_Hamilten
Click on the links below to read other visitors' 'being assertive' stories. And please feel free to comment on them! Thanks.
Assertive - With Love
I wasn't very assertive when growing up. I said Yes to everything I was asked to do even if I didn't really want to - I wanted to be accepted.
As I ...
To me, assertiveness is... Well I wish I had a story about assertiveness but I just don't. Yet, anyway. (Got loads of stories about not being assertive, but that doesn't help here!...
Assertiveness Related to Collaboration
The skill of assertiveness may be closely related to that of collaboration.
That's according to Nobel Peace Prize Winner Adam Smith, anyway.
In conflict ...
Return to Self Help Collective from Assertiveness
  What do YOU think?Please do tell us what you think about the issue of assertive behaviour . Oh, and please rate this page - thanks! :-)
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