Anger

Firstly, let me say that I am no expert in anger or anger management. That's a good thing in some respects as it means I don't spend all of my day angry, but it's also a bad thing as I don't have that much experience in helping other people understand (and manage) their own anger. But, like you, I know some stuff and I'll share a bit of what I know below, and then I'll let others (experts in anger) have their say too. And, then of course, it will be your turn - you have your say, too, please!

So we know what anger is, according to Wikipedia, and we've all been angry at some point in our lives (maybe at some point in our day). Well I've spent most of my life believing that it was bad to be angry and that it was good to bottle that anger up should it occur inside me - uh oh!

Thankfully, websites like Kids Health are here to dispel the myth about anger: not all anger is bad! Of course, I now agree, but it will take a few years yet before I can put this new-found wisdom into practice. (I need to concentrate on assertiveness, actually - I believe that being more assertive will allow me, when necessary, to express my anger at the right time.)

Having said that, it is important to control anger before it controls you - at least according to the American Psychological Association.

And esteemed website about.com also has an opinion on anger:

"It is not unusual for anxiety and anger to be connected. Anger may
trigger anxiety. Anxiety may anger us. If we don't face our anger
and learn to manage it, it may surface in unpredictable ways."

Even educational establishments devote some of their finest brains to the understanding of anger.

And there are some (many?) that simply think of anger as a sin: The Sin of Anger

Is it really that simple, though? Is some anger good and some anger bad? Well, this website page The Psychology of Anger and Anger Management : Insult, Revenge says the following: "Let's face it - anger is a fact of life. Our world is filled with violence, hatred, war, and aggression. Psychologically, many theories of human development focus on the infant's struggle with anger and frustration and the primitive fantasies of aggression, guilt, and reparation that result from these feelings. In essence, we grow up with anger right from the beginning of life."

Hmm, that is a bit depressing, actually - I think.

As for me - what does anger mean to me?

Well, off the top of my head, anger is...

These are my instant thoughts blurted out in two minutes when I think of (my) anger. Tomorrow, they might change. Because the truth is sometimes I actually wake up angry, and other days I'm smiling and happy and tolerant and nothing will disturb me.

Of course, in more general terms I agree with the Buddha that "Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned." (More inspirational quotes.) And I am finally learning to recognise that anger is not a bad thing - it serves a purpose in everyone's life, for sure.

But what do you think about anger? Are you okay with it or are you going to be signing up to an anger management class asap, now you've read this page about anger? ;-) Do let me know!

(Are you angry right now, even? Measure your anger now with this anger management toolkit)

Anger. And finally...

Maybe anger simply teaches us about ourselves as individuals and about human beings in general. Maybe it simply shows us where we need to do more work. As I said right at the beginning, I am no expert on anger and I expect this web page to evolve a lot as I learn more about the subject from people like you! Do share, eh! :-)