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Anger

THIS WEBSITE NEEDS YOU!

(Oops. Didn't mean to shout! :-) )

So would you please...
Let us know what you think
! (Thanks.)

Are you looking at me? :-)

... Anger has fascinated (and frustrated) the human race long before someone built traffic lights that turn to red just as you drive up to them. Long before man - cos it was a man, let's be honest! - invented computers (and software) that work perfectly for 99% of the time (oh how frustrating those 1% moments are lol). And (not that) long before our communication skills developed past prehistoric grunts and groans...

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! So what follows is the briefest of insights into anger - including defintions and my own reasons for getting angry. You will also find links to established websites for those that want to learn more.




Anger - what Wikipedia has to say...

"Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. The physical effects of anger include increased heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view Anger as part of the fight or flight brain response to the perceived threat of pain. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively and physiologically when a person makes the conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening behavior of another outside force.

"The external expression of anger can be found in facial expressions, body language, physiological responses, and at times in public acts of aggression. Animals and humans for example make loud sounds, attempt to look physically larger, bare their teeth, and stare... "

(Thank goodness for WikiPedia and its ability to tell us what anger is and why we get angry! Read more about anger at WikiPedia here!)

Okay, what do the rest of us think about anger then?...




Anger

Anger - what I (and others) have to say...

Firstly, let me say that I am no expert in anger or anger management. That's a good thing in some respects as it means I don't spend all of my day angry, but it's also a bad thing as I don't have that much experience in helping other people understand (and manage) their own anger. But, like you, I know some stuff and I'll share a bit of what I know below, and then I'll let others (experts in anger) have their say too. And, then of course, it will be your turn - you have your say, too, please!

So we know what anger is, according to Wikipedia, and we've all been angry at some point in our lives (maybe at some point in our day). Well I've spent most of my life believing that it was bad to be angry and that it was good to bottle that anger up should it occur inside me - uh oh!

Thankfully, websites like Kids Health are here to dispel the myth about anger: not all anger is bad! Of course, I now agree, but it will take a few years yet before I can put this new-found wisdom into practice. (I need to concentrate on assertiveness, actually - I believe that being more assertive will allow me, when necessary, to express my anger at the right time.)

Having said that, it is important to control anger before it controls you - at least according to the American Psychological Association.

And esteemed website about.com also has an opinion on anger:

"It is not unusual for anxiety and anger to be connected. Anger may
trigger anxiety. Anxiety may anger us. If we don't face our anger
and learn to manage it, it may surface in unpredictable ways."


Even educational establishments devote some of their finest brains to the understanding of anger.

And there are some (many?) that simply think of anger as a sin: The Sin of Anger

Is it really that simple, though? Is some anger good and some anger bad? Well, this website page The Psychology of Anger and Anger Management : Insult, Revenge says the following: "Let's face it - anger is a fact of life. Our world is filled with violence, hatred, war, and aggression. Psychologically, many theories of human development focus on the infant's struggle with anger and frustration and the primitive fantasies of aggression, guilt, and reparation that result from these feelings. In essence, we grow up with anger right from the beginning of life."

Hmm, that is a bit depressing, actually - I think.

As for me - what does anger mean to me?

Well, off the top of my head, anger is...

  1. Being 'told off' when you've done nothing wrong
  2. A feeling that nobody is listening to you, and so you can't express yourself
  3. Wondering why, exactly, people do some of the crazy, hurtful things that they do (but being unable to understand)
  4. Listening to stupid people justify their prejudices
  5. Listening to intelligent people justify their prejudices
  6. Worrying about the little guy (versus the big company)
  7. Thinking about the inequalities in the world - women, non-whites, fat people, third world countries, any animal that isn't a human being, "the world, the universe and everything"...

These are my instant thoughts blurted out in two minutes when I think of (my) anger. Tomorrow, they might change. Because the truth is sometimes I actually wake up angry, and other days I'm smiling and happy and tolerant and nothing will disturb me.

Of course, in more general terms I agree with the Buddha that "Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned." (More inspirational quotes.) And I am finally learning to recognise that anger is not a bad thing - it serves a purpose in everyone's life, for sure.

But what do you think about anger? Are you okay with it or are you going to be signing up to an anger management class asap, now you've read this page about anger? ;-) Do let me know!

(Are you angry right now, even? Measure your anger now with this anger management toolkit)

Anger. And finally...

Maybe anger simply teaches us about ourselves as individuals and about human beings in general. Maybe it simply shows us where we need to do more work. As I said right at the beginning, I am no expert on anger and I expect this web page to evolve a lot as I learn more about the subject from people like you! Do share, eh! :-)




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