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An Introduction to... ANGER!

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Are YOU looking at me? :-)

... The subject of 'angriness' has fascinated (and frustrated) the human race long before someone built traffic lights that turn to red just as you drive up to them.

Long before man - cos it had to be a man, let's be honest! - invented computers (and software) that work perfectly for 99% of the time (oh how frustrating those 1% moments are!).

And (not that) long before our communication skills developed past prehistoric grunts and groans...

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! So what follows is the briefest of insights into A-N-G-E-R - including definitions and my own reasons for getting angry.

You will also find links to established websites for those that want to learn more.

What Wikipedia has to say...

"Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. The physical effects of anger include increased heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view [it] as part of the fight or flight brain response to the perceived threat of pain. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively and physiologically when a person makes the conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening behavior of another outside force.

"The external expression of anger can be found in facial expressions, body language, physiological responses, and at times in public acts of aggression. Animals and humans for example make loud sounds, attempt to look physically larger, bare their teeth, and stare... "

(Thank goodness for WikiPedia and its ability to tell us why we get angry! Read more at WikiPedia here!)

Okay, what do the rest of us think then?...

What Makes Us Angry?

Anger - what I (and others) have to say...

Firstly, let me say that I am no expert in 'angriness' or its management.

That's a good thing in some respects as it means I don't spend all of my day angry, but it's also a bad thing as I don't have that much experience in helping other people understand (and manage) their 'angriness'. But, like you, I know some stuff and I'll share a bit of what I know below, and then I'll let others have their say too.

And, then of course, it will be your turn - you have your say, too, please!

So we know what Wikipedia thinks, and we've all been angry at some point in our lives (maybe at some point in our day, today). Well I've spent most of my life believing that it was bad to be angry and much better to bottle it up. Uh oh, can anyone spot the man who with rage issues? (Hey, I'm working on it, honest! ;-) )

Thankfully, websites like KidsHealth.org are here to dispel the myth!

Of course, I now agree, but it will take a few years yet before I can put this new-found wisdom into practice. (I need to concentrate on assertiveness, actually - I believe that being more assertive will allow me, when necessary, to express my 'angriness' at the right time.)

Having said that, it is important to control 'angriness' before it controls you.

Still, there are some (many?) that simply think of it as a sin.

Is it really that simple, though? Is some 'angriness' good and some bad? Well, this website page says the following:

"Let's face it - anger is a fact of life. Our world is filled with violence,
hatred, war, and aggression. Psychologically, many theories of human
development focus on the infant's struggle with anger and frustration and
the primitive fantasies of aggression, guilt, and reparation that result
from these feelings. In essence, we grow up with anger right
from the beginning of life."

Hmm, that is a bit depressing, actually.

Perhaps Guy Finley has an answer to our problems:

"To be angry is to suffer. It doesn't help anyone to get angry.
Anger hurts whoever is angry. It burns. Anger ruins relationships,
causes heartache and regret, and devastates health...."

So What Does Being Angry Mean to Me?

Well, off the top of my head, my 'angriness' is...

Being 'told off' when you've done nothing wrong
A feeling that nobody is listening to you, and so you can't express yourself
Wondering why, exactly, people do some of the crazy, hurtful things that they do (but being unable to understand)
Listening to stupid people justify their prejudices
Listening to intelligent people justify their prejudices
Worrying about the little guy (versus the big company)
Thinking about the inequalities in the world - women, non-whites, fat people, third world countries, any animal that isn't a human being, "the world, the universe and everything"...

These are my instant thoughts blurted out in two minutes when I think of what makes me angry. Tomorrow, these thoughts might change. Because the truth is sometimes I actually do wake up angry, and other days I'm smiley and happy and tolerant, and nothing will 'disturb' me.

But what do you think? Are you okay with it or are you going to be signing up to an 'angry' management class asap, now you've read this page? ;-) Do let me know!

And, hey, I'd love it if you shared what makes you angry too! :-)

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