That's what Trevor Johnson says in his tips for anger management article
(see below).
See if
you agree with Trevor and let us know what you think too.
As some of my friends know
only too well that I am not a fan of anger, especially the 'holding onto anger'
variety that the Buddha talks about:
You see, I rarely get angry. Which sounds like
a good thing, but - until I become the Zen Monk I aspire to be(!), and experience
enlightenment in my every waking moment - it isn't! I need to express my anger,
appropriately, when I feel it. (And some might argue, though not Trevor,
that this is controlling anger, though I'm
not sure!)
Instead,
take a good look at Trevor's anger management tips below.
In Trevor's anger
management article he notes that not all of us are ready to admit that we have
an anger problem - one that can only be fixed by attending an anger
management class. However, Trevor believes that unmanaged anger can
damage personal relationships and can also contribute to social breakdown (millions
have anger issues,
it seems), so he offers us 3 anger management tips to save the day: analyze
the objective of your anger; ask yourself whether the person intentionally tried
to anger you (or did they just make a mistake); don't vent out your anger.
Anger is a natural human emotion,
often surfacing with the slightest annoying action by another. While anger is
natural, it's anger mismanagement that truly hinders ordinary human relationships,
because extreme anger may lead a person to be emotionally and physically abusive.
Mismanaged anger is the leading source for divorce, domestic abuse, workplace
violence, road rage and even various addictions.
As a cure and prevention
method, anger management classes are available, with professionally conducted
anger management exercises. But, not many people are ready to admit they have
temperamental problems and are reluctant to attend anger management classes. Because
of this, it's good to know there's an information wealth out there for you to
try and treat your anger before seeking professional help.
Why exactly
should we try to control our anger? Isn't it a proven fact that controlling
your anger and not letting out the emotion is bad for a person? The reality is,
anger should not be controlled, it should be managed. It's wordplay in
a way, but the underlying fact is, controlling is when you try to order your mind
not to get angry, while managing is when you negotiate with your mind about how
to release anger.
The best reasons for managing your anger include some of
the simplest. Anger and happiness cannot coexist, so when you are angry, you are
not happy. Anger is also responsible for social breakdown, because if you are
always flying off the handle with others, no one will want to associate with you.
Mistakes are higher when you act in anger, because you are thinking with a red
alert bleeping in your mind and let rational thinking take a dive out the window.
If you are among the millions with anger issues, here are few great anger
management tips to take control of it before everything goes haywire.
Anger
Management Tip 1:
Analyze the objective of your anger. Will your anger
be justifiable, even after ten years have gone by? What's the worse that could
result if you didn't get angry? Think about how it would be if you were in the
other person's shoes, would you still be angry? No matter if a person cuts in
front of you on the road or supermarket queue, if the anger is not justifiable
in the big picture, there's no point to getting angry at all.
Anger Management
Tip 2:
Most often, people are just in a hurry and they don't intentionally
try to harm you. If you get angry at mistakes by others, you shouldn't. You need
to think why it would have happened that way, if it really is the other person's
fault. Admit to yourself that you may have made similar mistakes too.
Anger
Management Tip 3:
Don't vent out your anger; this may seem a strange thing
to say, as a decade ago, any psychiatrist would tell you keep a punching bag for
beating up when you are angry. Modern research shows the more you practice a particular
emotion, you are more likely to use it too, just like the age-old idiom "practice
makes perfect". So, instead of venting out anger, concentrate on eliminating it
completely by thinking of better, nicer things. Reminiscing about something you've
truly enjoyed in the past will take you mind away from the current anger. Also,
make use of the old method advising you to "count to ten". Except, without making
a boring 1,2,3...give a twist to it, and count to make it fun, like "1-frosted
cake, 2-frosted cakes...by concentrating on the counting, you'll let go you of
your anger.
----------------------------------------------------
